La quemada

by Jessica Pedroza (United States of America)

A decision that pushed me to the edge USA


I have my camera in hand ready to snap away as we walk around La Quemada. It is the ruins located in the Villanueva Municipality of Zacatecas in Mexico. The tale goes that this place was the legendary Chicomostoc, the place of origin for those who were Aztec Mexicas, Tepanecs, Acolhuas, and other Nahuatl speaking people. I am awestruck by the structures baring history dating back to 300 AD. We climb to the top to capture the wonderous view of everything down below. I sit cross-legged and tell Farrah to take a picture of me from behind. I close my eyes for a slight moment and my mind wonders in unknown territory. For awhile, I was stuck on my daily routine. No one ever taught me how to look beyond these four corners of my life. To explore the dimensions and realities outside of my own confines. Six years in a commited relationship and the only thing anyone would ever question me on was "When are you having babies?" I thought to myself , I'm only 23 years old, why would I be thinking about this now. So, I did what I thought was best for both parties involved. I walked away first. A silent tear rolls down my face, but i don't wipe it away. The sun and wind touch the parts of me left open and bruised, waiting, ready to be patched up and healed through introspection of self. I was wrong for walking away from a love that wanted nothing less but to see me rejoice in happiness. Sometimes we realize a little too late the damage that's done by the words we say, and my actions will forever speak louder than any apology I could possibly muster. Sometimes we sabatoge our lives without thinking through what the consequences entail. But sometimes the best thing we can do is watch our lives fall apart so that better things can fall into place. As I sit atop of these old ruins almost left unscathed by the winds of time but not quite, I think of all the people who surround me now, and those who have come and gone from my life. Every experience and every person has been either a blessing or a lesson or sometimes even both. So it is in this very moment that I grasp the true meaning of the impermanence of life.