See you later

by Poonam Fernandes (India)

I didn't expect to find India

"Here, take this" he said. 'I am sorry?' "You dint seem to have change, take this pay the cab". "I am sorry i cant take this". He insisted, she accepted and paid for the cab ride. Arun and had met 5 years ago at a friends wedding. I was freshly divorced and he was just out of a very bad relationship, what a combination. Our common friend introduced us and there were immediate fireworks. He hand shake was firm, he looked me into the eyes and smiled. We spoke, met, dated and soon got into a relationship. It almost felt as if we had known each other for ever. It felt like this was the perfect relationship i was waiting for all my life. Everything was perfect, it felt just right. Then the day came, when he proposed marriage which was icing on the cake. Soon, families got involved, dates were discussed and decided. All of this was happening too soon, but it felt so good. As the day came closer, i started doubting my decision. Was i making the same mistake again? Is this right for the both of us? Isn't this happening too soon? I think we shouldn't have rushed this decision. I think it is a rebound. I think i should have thought this through. I think i wanted to live my life after my divorce, explore the world, introspect, explore myself. I panicked. I dint know what to do. In a rather Hollywood style, one night i packed some basic clothing and necessities and eloped from the house, leaving a note behind. 'I am sorry Arun, i am not sure if i want to be married again, i need time to think, think what i want, when i want, i want to travel see the world, dont try to find me, i will figure it out. I set out my right foot and started my journey. I took the first bus to a neighboring village that i always fascinated since childhood. I reached there early morning, i knocked on a door and a old frail woman opened the door. I told her i was seeking some shelter for a few days and would you mind me staying with you for a new days. I stayed there for a few days and realized how difficult it was to hunt for work and feed you family every day. But the family did so without complains and lived rather happily. My next destination was a long lost friend who I had lost touched with for a very silly reason. I got in touch and met her. Meeting her taught me that it takes years to build a relationship but just a moment to break it, you should value people in your life and or what contribution they make. I then lived at a yoga center for a month where i wasn't suppose to talk at all. Everyone around only smiled and spoke to each other with gestures. It was extremely frustrating for the first few days, rather torturous but it only got better with time. By the end of the workshop, i had felt emotions that i had never felt before. This was precious. I was to cherish this all my life. I had clarity, i somehow knew what i wanted and what i did not. I backed my bags, with a smile on my face, i was ready to speak and tell the world what i wanted. I had traveled alone in the last few months. I took a cab and reached home. I was looking for change in all the pockets, but did not find any."Here, take this" he said. 'I am sorry?' "You dint seem to have change, take this pay the cab". "I am sorry i cant take this". He insisted, she accepted and paid for the cab ride While i was travelling alone for the last few months, i had forgotten that you need a companion to travel. Arun was by my side at all times, patiently waiting for me while i decided to explore. Not physically, but he had traveled with me spiritually. Now, I knew what i wanted :)