10,000 miles and me

by Toni Keeley (United Kingdom (Great Britain))

I didn't expect to find Australia

To find myself. The most common answer given when faced with the question of ‘so why are you going travelling?’. As much as I hate to admit, this was also my answer. But who wants to be that basic, right? So the answer I actually gave people was just a simple shrug of the shoulders and ‘why not’. Never truly thinking travelling would massively change anything inside of me, I boarded my first flight of god knew how many I would take in the near future. Now don’t ask me when it happened or how it happened. But it happened. Something inside of me just clicked, without me even realising. I hadn’t noticed anything had changed until the very first moment my eyes watered looking at a beautiful view. Me, my eyes! The same person who’s own mother had said she had a ‘swinging brick’ as a heart because she never cried anything. But yet here I was, tears starting to fall, looking out at the sea. Who knows what it was that might’ve changed me. Was it the sight of the stars in the outback, the peacefulness of the tiny towns or the roar of the ocean along coast? Could it have been feeling like the tiniest dot in the middle of Singapore’s skyscrapers? Was it finally crossing the Great Ocean Road off my bucket list or witnessing my first kangaroo asleep on someone’s front lawn as if that was the norm? (Which by the way, it is). I don’t like to question it though because I’ve never been happier. Yes, I’m living off $1 packet mash and 85 cent tinned tuna. I may have ran out of clean socks 3 days ago and I also might be wearing bikini bottoms because I’ve got no clean underwear. But none of that matters. It doesn’t matter because I’m going snorkelling to find whale sharks. I’m jumping out of planes over the Great Barrier Reef. I’m doing things I’d never thought I’d be able to do. It’s not just the big things that can change you when travelling, it’s all the little things too. I’d never seen more joy on anyone’s face than when me and my sister found a pet shop in Sydney with actual puppies in. I’d never felt so surrounded by happiness than at a family party that I gate crashed in Port Macquarie. I was stood, surrounded by people that clearly love each other. Eating my corn, the smell of the BBQ in the air and just genuinely happy to be a part of the moment. A friend recently asked me if I’d change any of the bad bits of travelling. I don’t even think I’d finished reading the question before I had already sent my reply. No. I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t change the two hour hike in a rainstorm or the motorcycle accident in Bali (don’t tell my mum about that one). I wouldn’t change waking up in a flooded tent and everything I owned being soaked through. I wouldn’t change the infinite amount of mosquito bites I’ve had to put up with or even the Bali belly which I had for a full 4 weeks. They’re all part of my story and all part of my journey. Someone else asked me whether travelling was what I thought it was going to be. At first, my answer to him was just a simple ‘yes’. However, now I’ve had time to think about it, my answer would definitely change. It’s so much more than I thought it would be. There’s no words to describe the emotions you feel, the things you see and the things you can find. I’ve felt happier than I have in I couldn’t say how long. I saw dolphins 10 meters away from me in a river whilst I ate a picnic and I found a nudist beach. But the most unexpected thing I’ve found, not to sound too cringey, was myself. It made something click inside of me and changed me in a way I never thought possible. And for that, I’ll always be grateful.