10 Days of Silence

by Amanda Desjardins (Canada)

A leap into the unknown Thailand

My year-long backpacking trip around the world was coming to an end, and what better way to finish it off than to attend a silent retreat, to reflect on all the things I had accomplished in that time. I figured with a retreat I would have plenty of time to read, write and look back on the thousands of photos I had taken throughout my travels. While on ko Phi Phi Island in Thailand, using my hostel's choppy wifi, I came across a free Vipassana 10-day course beginning in only a few days time, located in Thailand, in the Makok district, of Lamphun province, just 40 kilometers southwest of the city of Chiang Mai. Online it stated that the course was already full, and had been booked months in advance, time wasn't on my side. I decided to test my luck and email them to see if there was any chance I could still attend the class. I was surprised to see they had promptly replied, stating that they did indeed have space for me. They requested some information and for me to sign their waiver accepting the rules and terms of the course. After thoroughly reading the documents, I realized this experience was going to be far beyond what I had envisioned for a silent retreat and a lot more strict than I ever could have imagined. Signed and sent, I booked the first plane to Chiang Mai and got on the next water taxi to Krabi to catch my flight. Upon arrival at the CNX airport, hailing a ride to the retreat was a daunting task. As I embarked on my hour-long drive into the middle of nowhere, we rode up to a slice of paradise in the mountains, the air was crisp and the birds chirped happily. I had never seen so many butterflies aflutter, I could tell this was going to be a peaceful next 10 days. Arriving at the Dhamma Sīmanta center, I was greeted at the door by women dressed in white, I had gotten the memo of 'wearing light clothes' confused with, airy clothes versus light in color, making me the only person there wearing dark-colored clothing. I also soon noticed I would be the only Caucasian non-local there as well, no one spoke English and there was a major language barrier, good thing there was no need for words. In a place like this everyone was equal. I was guided to a locker area, where they would take all my personal belongings from me, everything except my clothing and toiletries, to store for me until the end of the course. I felt naked without them, but lighter at the same time. I was then given my schedule for the next ten days; I would be meditating 11 hours a day, eating only vegan meals and fasting after 11 am daily. With strict 4 am wake up calls and lights out by 10 pm, There was no talking, listening to music, reading or writing allowed, we were to remain silent at all times, not to disturb the peace. The first few days, we learned to sit, eyes closed and to breathe through the nose. My body ached tremendously from the hours of sitting cross-legged in the mediation hall, my mind was loud with wonder, if we were not supposed to think, how was I to quiet my mind? Time went slow and minutes felt like agonizing hours. Every evening the discourse video we had to watch would be the only thing explaining to us what technique we had to focus on for the day ahead. Each day adding a new method to the meditation, I began looking forward to this motivating part of the day. As the days became less, meditating became second nature, I no longer needed to focus on stillness and breathing, I now had the keys I needed to listen to the silence. I could feel with every moment, the skin on my body breathing and the hairs on my head moving in real-time. I learned how truly valuable meditation was for the spirit of the body and how we could all benefit from silence from time to time.