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walking, open eyed but blind, screaming silently, day for day, year for year... sleeping, sleepwalking... that was me for almost 30 years. I was there among the crowd, I could see, hear and feel all this life around me, but I wasn`t part of it. It seemed like there was some kind of wall between me and all the others. not of concrete, it was made of flexible, transparent gum... I could reach out for someone or something, but couldn`t walk through... I was alive but not living... ...but then, out of the sudden, in my sleeping beauty kind of agony, there was something warm, something that felt so good, so energetic and full of life... scared I slowly opened my eyes, and there she was... the sun... she kissed me, shining all over my face and as she reached all of my body it was like my heart was starting to beat again for the first time after decades!!! as it hasn`t beaten all the time... I looked around and was stunned, smiling all over my face... I took a deep breath of fresh air while the wind danced a little dance around me... I was there, back in life, and FEELING alive... part of pure nature. That moment, when I woke up in the scottish highlands, cowboycamping... leavin the grey and concrete jungle behind, trying to find myself again... and boy did I find me. I found me in the wild, in the raw and pure outdoors... and I will never leave again