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DISCLAIMER: I am an Australian Citizen. 2nd DISCLAIMER: We have been cleared by doctors of any possible illnesses. Coronavirus, have you heard of it? It's the infection taking the world by storm, the subject in which mainstream media have used to conduct fear and hate against people of Asian descent. I was 'lucky' enough to travel to China when the virus started, and the scenes that I saw were both terrifying and yet, some of the dullest and empty experiences of my life. Imagine saving your money, hours of working, your leave approved, accommodation and flights organized, only for everything to fall apart. Imagine spending hours sitting in a hotel room, nothing to do because everything around you is closed due to fears of infection. Not even the pool, bar or gym to go to because a country is in a panic over a virus they had created. Imagine having nothing to do but think, sitting around thinking about everything you've done wrong, anxiety building up, isolation growing until you've torn apart your relationship. I put my mask on. I had about five, but I always found comfort in the one with the filter. Even if it wasn't more useful, my brain had tricked me into thinking the filter was an additional benefit. I decided to go for a run, or as much as I could walk/run without my mask fogging up my glasses. I didn't get far before that became an issue. I saw a man run past in a panic, also masked up. I looked at him run away and wondered why he was running. Was he sick? Was a family member sick? Was he like I, and struggling mentally and emotionally due to the complete isolation? I didn't know, and the sight of him quickly faded, as fast as the sirens and ambulances that soon followed after him, speeding down a road in Shanghai I'm certain I have never seen empty before. I had visited Shanghai five times, and only once in my life had I been able to hear my own thoughts above the din of the city life, and it was now. I wanted to follow the sirens, I wanted to follow the man. Anything to distract me from my isolation, from my crumbling relationship back home. Common sense prevailed, and I tore myself away from the sights and kept walking. Have you ever seen 28 Days Later? There's a scene where our protagonist is walking around London city, and it's completely and utterly deserted. There's a sense of eerieness and fear in the air, that something was just...not right. I mean, a city of millions just gone, empty? I walked through the city, with that tension in the air, but personally I was just...bored. Nothing was happening, no one existed anymore. I begrudgingly turned around and headed back to my hotel, where nothing awaited but another battle with my mind. I realized only once I got home that my trip was a disaster on the surface, but deep down I was on a journey for my own spiritual growth. I spent so much time in my head, deconstructing and breaking down flaws, that I was forced to face my problems directly. I spent a week in Shanghai but I might as well have spent a week in my head. I managed to get home without any issues. I sometimes think about what could've gone right. Maybe the virus wasn't a big deal and maybe I didn't have to spend time arguing and fighting and hating myself. Maybe I could have gone to Disneyland. It didn't matter. What happened, happened. I faced the worst of my anxieties and fears. It's too soon to say whether I won or not. I didn't expect to find a purpose for my existence, but I think I just did.