A home inside of Me

by Zeba Rizvi (Chile)

I didn't expect to find Colombia

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When you stop feeling at home in your own home, in your own city and in your own country then the best thing to do is to go to a continent where you don't have family or friends, nobody speaks your language and let go of the idea of a home. I decided to just that when I landed in Colombia from India. I will not have a home, not pay rent, live in as many countries as possible. I never meant to travel- I do not like the idea of fast travel. I prefer slow traveling- at least more than two months. South and Central America will take me about two years to live in. I want to cook in several homes, learn a new language, fall in love in different countries, nurture love and in this process find 'home', something I lost. It has been 6 months that I am in South America and I have rescued two dogs, fallen in love about twice, cooked so good that have practically amazed myself and glad to inform that my Spanish has gotten better than what I had started and I have felt at home with just 9 kilograms of baggage. When all material possessions could not give me the feeling of home I thought nothing could and I needed to get away from life as I had known it. What I didn't know was the feeling of home was never related to how much I owned. I never expected to find it on the road but I did, with the least amount of possessions that I have ever owned, in the homes of absolute stranger, in warm embraces in long kisses- I found my home. I started with this intention of traveling for 1-2 years but don't think I want this to end ever. When being at home while on a move is the only home I have known in the longest time. I wasn't sure what will I find, I am glad to have found my home/s in all the different countries. Before the start of my journey I remember my father asked me, 'why do you even want to go to South America? We don't have any family or friends there. We literally know nobody there.' I just sat there wondering that weren't those the reasons to go to a place- put yourself out there with complete strangers and a new culture. Be absolutely not at home to find your home. I couldn't be more glad for making this journey and if anybody is reading this and feeling out of place and that you do not belong then let me tell you that there is no need for you to try hard to belong. Leave it all and live in a place where you never imagined yourself to belong. If life gives you lemons then take it, squeeze it, make the tastiest lemonade. Do not shy away from challenges, in fact one-up these challenges. If something feels tough then you could get intimidated for toughen yourself more and just march on. I decided to do the latter and the outcome was unimaginable. When I am tired of moving around so much I plan to build myself a little eco-friendly home by the Andes or somewhere I can hear salsa music early morning. Live on as little as possible and give as much love and nurturing to the universe as I can. On my travel not only did I found a home but I also found the meaning of desire, how to live on less and love our planet a little more. Run away from comfort because that is where growth happens. Live with your impatience and anxiety. My home is now a place inside of me and no matter where I go. I no longer need to be around familiar faces, geography, language and food to be at home. This feeling is so liberating. I have never felt more rich in my life than I do now. Oxymoronic and ironic but true. I never expecyted to find richness in minimalism.