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The sun's rays strewn by glass greeted me with its orange color at Boryspil Airport, Ukraine. I stepped out of the airport while waiting for the bus to head to town. This trip became the coldest trip I've ever done. Maybe I was too early to judge the situation, but it came with a reason. Not because the cold temperature for summer, it’s because my heart was covered in gray by a broken heart. The reason I traveled to Kiev was to replace the memories I had with my ex. My hope was that by going back to the place he’s born, it would make new memories of the city. Not memories of him, but sweet memories that I wrote down on my own memory paper. It wasn’t easy to do this trip. Everything reminded me of him. When I got into the bus, I heard many people spoke Russian. The language he used with his family at home. I was so jealous, seeing everyone had their own companion. A young mother with her 10 years old son and a young couple who seemed very happy. “How can they be so happy?”, I said it in my heart. The bus arrived in the middle of the city. I carried my big suitcase by myself to the hostel. It wasn’t the best hostel I’ve tried. I climbed the stairs alone by myself with a really big suitcase. Tired, angry, and disappointed. But I accepted all the pain. I challenged myself to feel pain. I convinced myself that I could do anything alone even without him. Surprisingly, the hostel keeper was very friendly. His name’s Sasha. He became my friend while I was in the hostel. He’s the most eccentric person I’ve ever met. Too bad he couldn’t speak English. I learned some words in Russian from my ex. Turned out it wasn't enough to help me, but Google Tranlate did. Another surprise, there’s a group of students from all over the world who were doing internship at various start up companies in Kiev and they stayed at the same hostel with me. I said hi to them and it didn't take me long to become their friends. This warm atmosphere broke down all my bad stigma against unsafe hostel. A girl from Tunisia named Emna caught my attention. She’s taller than me with curly-haired and brown-eyed. While talking about the emancipation of women in her country, she’s making a typical Tunisian pasta home cook. Then, she offered me to try. It’s such a coincidence because I was hungry after a very long flight. The next day, I woke up very late. It’s Sunday. Nobody went to work for internship. I saw everyone was still asleep. I decided to explore Kiev especially the Chernobyl museum. The museum was my main destination. Chernobyl was a meaningful place in my life. My ex told me some stories about Chernobyl, about his memories with his favorite uncle in that area. Too bad his uncle died a few years ago and that also made him change a little. Chernobyl museum was a typical horror museum with its horrible smell and tragedy. It’s located near Poshtova Square where there’s a big wheel nearby. I rode the wheel alone. I felt the wind passing through my hair at each turn. I saw the view of Kiev from above so peacefully. It’s so beautiful and released my feeling. I felt like I didn’t want to think about anything for a moment. The wheel taught me to be patient because the wheel of life must be spinning. It taught me to forgive myself for things that happened in the past. To realize that in all relationships, there’s nothing wrong and right. I was relieved, finally I had a courage to remember the memories of him without having to feel pain. I came back to the hostel at night when the sun had already set. I did a celebration party for what I felt that day. I went to the club with the internship students. Maybe it’s an ordinary party for them, but not for me. It's an acceptance party for my breaking up and for the new me.