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Just do what others do. Work, sleep, repeat. That is the voice that has been hunting me in my long sleepless nights for the past few months. Do what is expected of you. Oh well, but here I am, back in my apartment after two weeks in the Latvian wilderness and nothing is the same. 21 strangers travelling their long and short distances to a small train station one hour away from Riga. We all signed up for a training called Love Every Challenge. Each traveller came for their own urgent reason and I came without really knowing why. Don’t get me wrong, I love travelling. I usually do it for the sun, for the fun or for the meeting of THE man (which never works as I am still single writing this story), however this time I just appeared at that train station unable to speak the “why” the others found no problems expressing. Deep Latvian woods resembled the Czech nature so you could have easily convinced me I hit my head and was actually still in the country of mine. The toilet was 400 metres away from our cottage, a small pond was inviting me in (unsuccessfully though), a warm shower happened only once. It rained half of the time, snowed once and I wore two layers of pants at all times. Because of no mirrors I got very quickly used to the idea that my personality shapes the way people perceive me. The looks lost their always existing meaning. Kind of. Opening up to each other day by day we held hands to walk on glass, we escaped imaginary but not too imaginary bears, juggled 15 balls in the air at the same time and discovered who we are when it comes to group dynamics. Last day of the trip though, assuming I have learned enough tools to face the challenges of life (Love Every Challenge, remember?), a plot twist took place. Blindfolded, the trainers would take us out one by one. People would disappear into the darkness of the night never finding their way back. I waited for 4 hours for my turn to come. Hold on to my hand, said my group's team leader, and walked me to the unknown, through the fresh air of the Latvian forest. Eyes unfolded as I met a man in a cape holding a scythe saying hello, laid down into this grave, please. Mr. Death himself. Laying down in my own grave I witnessed my own funeral. The words spoken were so unkind I cried out of disappointment. She did not live her life to the fullest. What a waste of life. The second funeral, in the second grave I had to walk into, was a different one though. There laid a girl who did not wait around for life to happen. She took it by the horns. She was my favourite. Thinking this was it I found myself walking through the forest again, this time meeting a trainer standing by a small fire. Ready for a new life? Hell yeah, said the reborn me. Do you know what the first step you need to take is? Having difficulties finding any words she said it herself. She tied me to her own body and pointed at a high tree next to me. Climb up and jump! Standing on top of the world I was about to vomit. As if my life was about to end. Trees beneath me, the cold pond, full of fear yet so alive, thinking this is not what the normal people do, I let go of the safety of the tree and jumped. Screaming loudly I made the whole world aware of my aliveness. Down on the ground landed a new woman. A woman who had neither the answers, nor the questions figured out, yet now a woman who knew life only happens when she faces her fears and jumps into the unknown. Away from the ordinariness of life, away from what holds her back. Nothing is the same and it feels so good.