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Before Lagos: Thursday. Sam buzzes me on WhatsApp. He’s a self-identified marlian, a goat, a great techie, a guy with rich chocolate skin and the campus director for StartUp Grind Ife. StartUp Grind Ife is a community of studentpreneurs, techies and smart asses. It would be having its annual tour, where members visit great startups, get to know what they do, make some connections, possibly secure internships and then go to the fun places and party. Sam wouldn’t be able to go and offered that I fill up his paid slot. We’d leave on Thursday and be back on Friday. I thought about it for a while. I mean, I have exams in days and International law and Evidence are on the same day. But you know what? Fek it! I get to travel and explore my techtusiast ramblings at no expense to my twerking account balance?? Great! Lezz go already. I spend my evening arranging my room and packing up. I add a textbook and my notebook, for effect(This ended in tears by the way.) Thursday Morning. We take off around 8:30 am because shit happened. The bus we ordered was not the bus we got. This one easily gives us away that we’re from Ile-Ife and doesn’t feel right to drive into company grounds. The driver we get looks like a low budget, 2002 model Pasuma, complete with the white trousers, a face cap, a huge belt and a bit of skoi skoi. But we move sha! To Jesus be our glory! I sit at the back seat; which was a terrible mistake by the way, with Tayo: a med student and a brand identity designer and Kolade; an engineering student, who runs OAU Juice. I initiate a game of jackpot and engage everybody for most of the trip. We end the game with Jennifer; the law student interested in tech and finance and Ayo; the English language student into digital marketing winning and rubbing it all over our faces. Ayo will go on to say “Opoor” every 5 minutes, in every line of conversation. Annoying! Segun; who is a web developer and who becomes our unofficial photographer for the entire trip because he has a great iPhone, Gladys; who is an entrepreneur and a fine girl with gap teeth, Eniola; the hacker and Larry; his junior brother with Sunday and Anderson, all join the rest of us at different points on the way. Lagos. PRINTIVO Here’s how our problems started. Nobody, including the driver had been to Printivo, so we resorted to Google Maps. Our Pasuma-on-the-tight-budget driver, found it absurd and antithetical to his street sense that we were directing him with our phones. You’d think with four phones and four maps our direction problem was solved. Nope, problem just began! Interpreting the maps. We made a wrong turn, sorry, many wrong turns and spend an extra hour or so on the road. The Lekki Conservation Centre. By the time we get here, everybody is hungry and we’re contemplating scramming, but we stay anyway. Eniola and Larry, get VIP tickets to go on the canopy walk. The rest of us broke ass niggas, get the regular student tickets. LCC has a lot of monkeys though. Small ones with tiny boobs. A party of girls join us in the waiting room and they’re with boxes of Dominoes pizza and drinks. A naughty monkey jumps on the nylon containing the pizza boxes and doesn’t let go till he grabs a box and run away. He however comes back to eat the pizza in our presence. Like, wow. Shame on you, sneaky monkey. We start the tour and go through what seems to be wooden stilts and slabs on a swampy area. We get to the huge tree house which I, Blessing, Victor, Ibrahim and Anderson climb. Yes, call me the lady with balls. Cheii! We continue the long walk to the family park where the giant chessboards, checkers and fish pond is. Eniola and Larry meet us later and tell us how scary the canopy walk is and we all walk back to our bus. School awaits.