A PRIVILEGED STRUGGLE

by Agnolia B. Gay (United States of America)

A leap into the unknown USA

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In March of 2019 I was invited by a friend to take a trip at no cost to me. We had worked on several community projects and I trusted her completely. We are headed to the airport, and I still don't know where I am going or what is expected of me. We arrive a few hours later in Montgomery, Alabama to view the Legacy Museum and the Peace and Justice Memorial. Turns our that a group of about 18 privileged, financially wealthy white people had created this tour to help them cope and or understand how to deal with, respond, and react to what happened in history that catapulted them into their "white privilege-ness"; and how to use their current positions to right the wrongs of their fore-fathers. I failed to mention that my friend and I are of African decent. S The first evening was a get acquainted and dinner type setting. The next morning we arrived in the garden outside of the museum and before we entered we have a ceremony that consisted of prayer, saging/cleansing, drumming, and songs and poetry. I am directed to sing during the cleansing ceremony and infuse appropriate poems and or quotes as needed. The ritual was powerfully moving and just what was needed as we prepared to enter the Lynching Museum as well as the other areas along this historical journey through African American History. We had the opportunity to visit with Mr. Stevenson of the Equal Justice Initiative and tour the museum. We also toured one of the churches where Dr. King preached. After each tour we would reflect over lunch or dinner. Sometimes we would dialogue as a whole group, in small groups, and or in pairs. We were asked to journal our thoughts and we also created a group poem entitled Agents of Change. There were several opportunities for us to connect and share in our private time. I went into this trip not knowing what to expect ... and left with a "new appreciation" for the real struggles that some who benefited from the hardships of "African Americans" have had to endure. There were a lot of emotion and tears over the weekend. Some men found it hard to even participate in the conversation; and though they sat in the group day after day; they added very little to the discussions in the beginning. It was hard for the few of us who were "black and poor" to understand/identify with the struggles of being privileged and wealthy. As I sat in the midst of potential angel investors, philanthropists, sponsors, and donors my head was filled with ideas and projects in my own community that could really financial support. But I dare not part my lips to share any of those thoughts. It just wasn't the right time or the right place. So I returned home thankful for the experience and contemplating how to expose those who are not privileged to the same type of experience and exposure. For I understand fully that we too, struggle with the knowledge that our fore-parents had to endure such horrendous conditions and it would be helpful to have the same type of support. I would love to be granted funds to do the same for those individuals of the opposite hue and financial status. Maybe ... someday that will happen.