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Dear readers, I could write about one of my solo trips, and how they took me one step closer to myself. Maybe share about the time I took a bus with strangers to Swaziland for one of the country biggest music festival, Bushfire, and had a great time drinking different beers and meeting people from different countries. There was also a trip to Brazil, I remember being in São Paulo walking by Vila Madalena on a Sunday and I met two friendly Japanese ladies which a few days later I had lunch with and they thought me a typical Japanese meditation technique. Or the time I shared a taxi with other guests from a hostel in Copacabana to Lapa, downtown of Rio de Janeiro and danced on the streets or going to country side of Bahía, Mata de São João to join a volunteer program. I’m still breathless with the natural beauty of Azores Island in Portugal, taking twenty minutes walks to end up finding natural pools in each “freguesia”, I can’t forget their different accent and how sometimes I couldn’t understand them although I am native Portuguese speaker. All this trips were incredible and very special to me, I still have fresh and vivid memories from each one of them but nothing compares to the trip to myself but I am not done yet. I can say I have only begun to know myself, to understand my motivations, hear myself and discover my skills. I found my true self, reading books, listening to Ted talks, meditating and even eating. It’s like the person was always there, starring at me, waiting for the right moment to show up. With every trip I got closer to myself, I unlocked mysterious doors of my personality I didn’t even know I had. In Brazil I met this handsome man, with the manly standard look that talked about his feminine side, I got shocked and mesmerized with his self knowledge. Seen a man being open about his existence made me think of my own existence, how I balanced between my female and male side, and wonder how I could express both sides without creating an illusion of being attracted to woman or wanting to be a man. I just want to embrace the girl in me who likes romance and also can be very practical in some situation without being emotionally influenced. I was at the grocery shop buying something to drink in Portugal and the only black woman inside at that moment. I remember there was a long queue and a older white man was trying to pass in front of everyone. Apparently that was something he did every time and people knew him, so no one was willing to let him pass. However, he insisted but no one allowed him and eventually he gave up. Right after he left a white ma’am in front of me started talking with me explaining that that man always did that, then she saw that I only had one bottle of water to pay and she told me to pass because she had more stuff than me. At that moment I was confused, why was she being nice to me? I am from a former Portuguese colony and the experience with some of the Portuguese back home is not so friendly, but there I was, receiving a nice gesture from a woman that didn’t know me and at that moment I realized, my history is not a card I have to carry everywhere I go waiting to put on the table when I feel the need. I was carrying a pre-judgment based on the history of both countries, I could have asked the lady to pass but I would never do it even if I was in a rush. I am a person with many believes abs nowadays I wonder if all of them are truly mine. In Barcelona I saw naked people lying on the beach comfortable on their own skin enjoying a sun bath, now all I want is to stand naked in the world, remove all the concepts and judgements I acquired along the road, enjoy a knowledge bath and write my story.