I remember the first moment deep down inside when I had that internal feeling when I knew I was a creative writer, I believe that was the moment I met fear. Fear of not believing in myself and fear of not being enough. Not having anything inside of me important enough for someone to want to hear the words through my voice. It was one late evening talking to a friend, in my unknown moment when my nothing life turned into something. It’s interesting to me when you can come to a place in your life when you don’t have anything, no money, no job and no family support to turn to. Homeless without transportation, you suddenly realize that you have everything. They always say that God works in mysterious ways. I would have never thought that once I lost everything or shall I say gave up everything that I would come to that place knowing that I was somebody. It’s amazing how people try to put an age to wisdom but I came to the realization that age doesn’t have anything to do with it. As a young adult I see that giants are a representation of fear of what everyone around you say what you cannot do or accomplish. You can’t do this, it’s impossible to do that, you too young for that and it will take you years to do that. These are words coming from the very ones that raised you, the voice that you should be able to trust. The ones that are supposed to have the wisdom, but to say in the least, the more “wiser” generation that surrounded me could not tell me to reach for the stars. So what do I do now? I came from a family which is desolate now, pretty much taken, robbed of their lives do to alcohol, drugs or sexual promiscuity. So what was I to do now? Who was left to be that Christopher Columbus in my life? I come from the grounds of Detroit, MI where the streets are taken over by jealousy, lust, prostitution, drugs and greed. With no one there to reach out their hand to me, where would my hope lie. To my surprise God wanted me to be that voice to the forgotten generation. No wonder children are looking to drug dealers, rappers and videos for role models, hey it gives them hope when they are surrounded by darkness but who wants to admit that right. I’m in a big city surrounded by those that want you to prostitute yourself to lend a helping hand, what choice do I make now when hope was robbed from beneath me. It’s funny but with all my thoughts coming out on this paper I believed that it was nothing in me that I had to offer to the world. A lot of people want to knock the mentality of thug life but in actuality all of us have a little thug life in us “chuckling”, we just express it differently and of course some of us that sit in the conservative seat and sitting high on our high horse don’t want to admit it. Truth be told it’s in that place when you don’t fit in or when you have to hide who you are to please people or when no one wants to listen is when that thug life side of you is provoked. At this place I feel so alive more than I ever had, the times when I had a job, money and a place to call home, I was dead inside a big hole was not filled in my life and I was chasing to find that fulfillment in all the material things. I wanted to be a part of something, I wanted that white picket fence. I desired everything everybody else had; I wasn’t living my own life but living to please others. The moment I chose to live for me was when I faced humiliation and belittlement. Others waiting for that moment of believing I was down and out, for themselves to feel empowered by what material things they had and of course in the mist of the wanna-be crowds that’s what made you somebody. We know it’s a blessing to have a comfortable life, but it’s not so pleasant to encounter disrespect and to be treated as someone’s doormat because the one who is dishing this to you was treated that way. They say life is not fair so I will step on you till you make it or break it. Well thank God that my nothing place strengthened me to not care what anyone thinks. My nothing place made me realize that it was suppressed talents on the inside of me that I needed no money for, I didn’t need a mansion or that flashy car to be somebody but I was somebody with a name. That’s the part they left out in school. They teach to say “ I am Somebody”, but what happens when that little boy leaves school and go home and meet discouragement, molestation, drugs, pain, poverty and struggle at the very place they call home, from the voice of their mother or father. These are the demons that get embedded in your mind trapped in your heart as a child that grows that giant of fear before your life, when you meet that rock bottom place if not physically, mentally, you are afraid to move in any direction. This is the minute you realize you have big dreams and they all come tumbling down because those voices of the old school, which people claim you should listen to, have now became the voice of despair.