An Arrival to Sweet Misery

by Dyland Walker (United States of America)

A leap into the unknown USA

“I WAS ACCOMPLISHED!!!” I thought repeatedly, as if there was a intercom in my ear, relentlessly cheering and shouting at the fact I graduated college. Emporia State University, degree in.... Ehn, Interdisciplinary Studies. Psychology, Sociology, and Health Promotion. I guess I couldn’t decide, in fact, I freeze when it comes time for that. At 24 years old I found myself freshly single (5 year relationship), back home with my parents, & working a 9 to 5 to make my parents happy. I hate deciding because I know which either way you decide, consequences follow. Even if they aren’t bad but I’m afraid of missing out on something better. I grew up around boys and girls equally. With either I had specific relationships by different characteristics. None that I necessarily picked up on my own, but by coincidence or instinct. I was always teased that I was gay even though I had boyfriends growing up. I ran track, played the saxophone, and basketball as a young child. I was quite fast but never super coordinated enough to succeed the same as I did with the Sax and Track. Anyhow, after years of practice, I was able to receive a scholarship to a D-2 school in New Mexico. Which inspired me to want to go to college. After my freshman year I transferred to Emporia Kansas, where I graduated in May of 2017. My parents were proud and as they promised they gave me a new car for me to use. A year later, somewhere over the western United States I was on a plane, to start my life post graduation in California. “Oakland” by Childish Gambino was blasting through my head phones. I was thrilled, yet frustrated that somehow my car was no longer in my possession and I had to walk around the city of Oakland to make ends meet. After my first two days of working on the WWOOF property, I noticed my tonsils were beginning to swell. I tried to hold it off but they chose to swell some more until I had to see a doctor for antibiotics. After I began feeling better, I reached out to my good friend that stayed in Oakland. He let me borrow his bike and I was elated and relieved that my trip times would be shorter. As I was biking along in the streets of Oakland, enjoying the sunshine and many faces I passed, I arrived at the inner city of Oakland and found myself surrounded by city-goers and the driver of the automobile that just hit me. Luckily I saw him coming and was able to turn in the direction he was moving to ease the impact. I declared to everyone that checked on me I was fine. Just a tender knee and racing heart, I biked back to my friends to let him know what happened. After a day and some thought I messaged the fellow that accidentally hit me. I told him that my friends bike needed a repair and that 100 dollars would do. He apologized and we parted ways. I was content but knew that I should have gotten more for my troubles. I thought to myself, “Maybe Oakland is not ready for me!”. Two days later I found myself headed to Phoenix Arizona, though Oakland was supposed to be my playground for three months. The greyhound was no stranger to me, but it had been a while. I was headed to see an old friend of mine and it was my birthday weekend. I arrived and something told me I would be here a while, it was definitely more familiar to home in San Antonio, Texas. But I want something so unfamiliar I would need to be slapped to remind myself to breath. Too often we’re surrounded by four walls and our reflection and things don’t always make sense. Time is not the same every where, but knowing yourself here, should be knowing yourself there. The more you go, the more you grow, the more you see, the better you can be. Never cease to try again somewhere you’ve been, in a different season. Mystery me!