Anxiety, alcoholism and depression

by Antoinnet Chiwambo (United Kingdom (Great Britain))

A leap into the unknown Zimbabwe

During my deferred year, I dealt with health issues and great loss. I feel this has helped shape me into the woman I have become today. I took a trip to Zimbabwe in December 2018 to visit my father who I had not seen in 12 years as he was not well and whilst there I saw how so many people were able to run business whether it was a large chain store or a simple kiosk in the rural areas. This really drove my passion as I felt I did not fully appreciate my opportunity to get my degree in previous years and seeing their drive and knowledge of business made me feel even more determined to come back as it was a drive and passion I had displayed most of my life which I feel may have died but I found it coming back watching those less fortunate able to provide for their families more than I can. I have always always felt the urge to write and have made many stories, in primary school where I had no knowledge what I wanted I was published in two short story and poem books, I got my highest grade in high school through a story I wrote in English class, I’m passionate about writing, about learning more. I feel since losing my father I have gone through all of the motions and I’m ready to finally start writing what I need to, I tried business management for a while thinking it was for me but I’m starting to see it’s not, I’m into history and writing, that’s what I’m passionate about and love, it’s what I feel most writers go through and have to go through to realize that this is what they need to be doing. I have traveled to Greece twice, Portugal and I was born in Zimbabwe, lived in England most of my life so this is my home but I believe there is more out there and I want to write about it for other young people going though what I’m going through. I’ve always been inspired by the areas I’ve gone to, by the way of life and how they handle it, I want to see more of it, I want to write the stories of the people in these countries and inspire others who may feel like me, like they have no purpose but see other people less fortunate and write about their struggles and make it resonate and touch the world in a way they didn’t know they could feel. I truly believe I could do that. Moving into London after living in Birmingham then Walsall all my life and then Anglia Ruskin in Cambridge for university was also a good experience to see what more was in the world and what more I could experience instead of thinking I could just go into college or university. It showed me the world is my oyster and since I write already, this gives me more to write about. My father went through alcoholism and I have gone through alcoholism, it’s hard to get over but I have tried to make my way through it, my anxiety has been a key factor in all of it, it has shaped my life through everything and I believe has made me a better person for it. I would love this opportunity to be part of something amazing and show the world what I can do and what I am made of, it would mean everything to me. I know I am a writer and I could be an amazing one given the chance so please give me the chance. I’m not sure if this was much of a travel story but I do hope it is. I would love to be mentored and taught under greats, I really would love this opportunity to prove myself to my family as less of a failure and more of someone who did lose hope and her way but has found it through your scholarship, more than disappointments. Thank you very much for reading this and I hope you take this into very serious consideration. Many thanks Antoinnet Grace Chiwambo