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This morning I woke up super happy because, for the first time in ages, I slept all night without any pills. Unfortunately, that was the only happy moment of my day. I opened Instagram and saw that my sister had commented on one of my posts from yesterday and, as I went to give it a ‘like’, I get a message from Instagram saying that my account had been temporarily suspended for inappropriate content. WHAT? What inappropriate content? My sister who’s an insta genius suggested it might have been because of the bloody foot in my stories. Anyway! Annoying! Well, now I’m paranoid about everything I post here. So, as a Friends lover, I’ll replace all the bad words for the word ‘puppy’. And today I have plenty! Quite an annoying way to start a day, but hey, no biggie. As long as I stick to my routine, I’ll be alright. Ok! Time to meditate. Well, not a chance! It’s ok, just try to be more positive and you’ll be alright! So I get up and go to the clothesline to get my laundry. I get everything and realise that a pair of shorts are missing. Obviously, my fragile mind goes straight to: Who the PUPPY stole my shorts? And that was enough to waken the monster that I’d managed to keep quiet for 2 whole days. I start frantically looking for my shorts and immediately feel my head and heart pounding. Breathing becomes difficult and so does standing up as my legs become unresponsive. Great! Another puppy panic attack! I go back to my room to try to calm the puppy down, but all I can think about is: Who the puppy stole my shorts? As I go into the room, there’s a girl packing her stuff. She turns to me with the friendliest smile and a “good morning”. I reply very rudely while thinking: “I bet it was her. She looks like a shorts thief”. I immediately start hating everyone at the hostel and, why be so rational? Let me just go ahead and start hating every living being on this puppy island! It’s time for my morning exercise and I still can’t get out of bed. I feel awful! Start crying! Damn, I was doing so well! Vanessa, just buy a new puppy pair of shorts! For puppy sake! I force myself out of the hostel and go for a walk, still trembling. There’s a fancy Shopping Centre and decide to go in to cool down a bit. It’s really hot here! My thoughts are so disturbing that I get annoyed at my own playlist and shut the music off. I need a drink! So I buy a big bottle of beer from 7eleven and, as I poor it into my flask (11 am) terrified of being judged, I sit there and immediately start passing judgement on every single person I see. Oh, there goes a: - Trump voter; - Lip filler; - Elephant rider; - Brexit supporter. And so on! The I turn the bitchiness towards myself. Vanessa, you are such a d.... head. Why do you have to be like this? Oh wait, that guy looks like he watches monkey shows. Stop it! Go for a swim and stop thinking sh.t. Be nice to people! So I get on with my day (barely). I go to the beach. It’s nice! But I can’t really enjoy anything at this point. As the sun sets and I walk back to the hostel terrified at the thought of writing THIS about my day, guess what I find back on the clothesline? Yeah! That’s right! The stupid shorts that ruined my day!