Blurred Memories

by Aurora Zecchinato (Italy)

Making a local connection Greece

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Sleeping has always been difficult for me, but this time is harder than ever. I am not sleeping in a bed; I am in an air bed on the floor in a big room with more than forty people. This may be the reason why I can’t sleep. There are people snoring, people talking but everyone is tired so basically, they are sleeping. We are in Tinos, an island in the middle of the Aegean see. Why I am here? Why have I chosen to be with this people? I need to sleep. And yet, this is the worst thing I can think of. I am exhausted like all those people around me, but still, I can’t sleep. When I decided to come to this place I was aware we would have slept all in the same room in air beds on the floor. We only have three toilets for forty people. That is because we are in the rectory, this place once was the priest’s house, the place where observant catholic people came after mass. Greece is an orthodox country; we are here to discover how the catholic community is integrated in the island. We would hopefully learn how does it feel to be a religious minority. I am sleeping in a sort of proscenium; this once was used for plays. Evangelistria Church reminds me of something theatrical, with all those observants people worshipping holy icons and symbols. Immediately after visiting that church I remember buying a necklace, and that necklace is on my neck in this moment. There was a Greek lady who helped me choosing it and she was the kindest person ever. This necklace has a symbolic charm, the “mati” also called the evil eye. The evil eye charm should protect you from envious people reflecting back to them their evil look. I like to think this island as a huge evil eye protecting itself from evil looks. Suddenly I remember being in the sea. I am plunging with the desire of never come to surface again. I want to be a whole with the crystal water, sea creatures and plants. The sea is guiding me, and as soon as I emerge the wind seem to shatter the peace I established with the water. Once we got in Tinos we were told the three typical features of the island: wind, snakes and marble. Tinos is extremely windy, there are snakes and it’s famous for its marble. I can remember a visit to the marble museum. It must be late. Tomorrow, which is already today, we have to wake up before dawn to get home. But why I need to remember? What I am missing? We were in a place called Monastery Agias Pelagias. The wind, always rushing against us, seemed to respect the sacred nature of the place. The sun was setting, and nature gave me the idea to be consciously living and yet instilling quietness all around. Three nuns (I thought they were nuns or some kind of sisters) were telling us their stories. I don’t remember their nationalities, but they spoke a bit of Italian, which is my native language. One of them lost her father and brother in a blood feud. She was standing there, with tearful eyes but with a calm smile on her face. In spite of her loss and her traumatized past she was telling us to be grateful and live fully every day. The only thing I could think of was the souvlaki and pita we had for dinner, while that woman was giving us a lesson of forgiveness I could not fully understand. Now I know I need this memory. When I will be home, when I will be angry and unsatisfied for every tiny detail of my life I will need all these memories. What happened then? I am sleeping now. I am dreaming of being in the sea, but I won’t be surfacing. I stay there, with all the memories and good things I learn from every day. They are heavy, but I feel light. Above me, around me, only water.