Born Again

by Karthika Babu (India)

I didn't expect to find India

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Until 21, for me traveling was all about taking a break from all the stress, fresh air, landscapes, trekking, having fun, etc.. But 2 years back I went on a trekking along with a few of my colleagues. I always enjoyed trekking, because it made me feel like I am strong, even though I have lots of physical issues, Breathing problem, overweight & most importantly winged scapula. With all these issues I used to be among the first who would reach the top. I never traveled a lot, but I love traveling just like the millions out there. May be belonging to a lower-middle-class family, having muscular dystrophy affected sister & other financial problems could be the best excuses. But I never missed a chance to explore places & its culture, because Paulo Coelho says, "travel is never a matter of money but of courage". I never heard about Lakshmi Hills before, even though I have been to Munnar many times. I have climbed mountains before, But Lakshmi hills, Oh my God. Trust me it has an 85° inclined side. My face turned red even before 10 minutes of the trek. Everyone was feeling week, but I felt like I am gonna die within half an hour if we continue at the same speed. I started thinking about going back, I couldn't breathe at all. I asked them if we could take a break, but the guides said No as it would make us feel even more tired. I kept asking them how long we need to climb, they kept saying, we just started right. It was like we are on the sets of Man vs. Wild. After about 3 hours of trekking, they said we reached halfway. Then I was quite sure, yes I am gonna die. We got a 5 minutes break. I was feeling angry, sad & humiliated. I never thought I would feel angry during trekking. In between the trekking one of my college, an ex-friend, whom rest of the colleges believed to have a crush on me carried my trekking bag to help me. I started having little feelings for him by that time. At last, after about 6 hours I saw red & yellow tends. Throughout the trekking, I was angry & sad, but then when we reached the hilltop, my mind went blank, then I started thinking, all these years I thought I am okay with whatever I am, I will work hard for my dreams to come true. But, to achieve something passion is not enough, your body & mind should be strong enough to follow what your heart says. The sunset was amazing. We kept singing Malayalam folk songs the whole night. Later on, we went to our tends. The person I mentioned about helping me with carrying my bag tried to touch me improperly. I had feelings for him, but he had friends for benefits kind of an attitude. Then & there I made sure that he won't cross the line again. As an individual, as a woman this journey made me realize a lot of things. By 2 AM it was heavy rain & storm. Our tents started to fall off, so all of us ran into the cottage. Everyone had a minimum of 15 leeches on their body, I kept on looking for at least one. Others made fun of me, but I replied with pride, "maybe I don't have impure blood at all". We couldn't enjoy the sunrise, the sky looked dark & cloudy. So we finished up our breakfast & started climbing down the hill. On the way back I kept falling & falling, as it was full of slippery rocks, wet grasses along with thick roots on the ground all over. It was dangerous, but I kept laughing at each time I was falling. I was happy because I made up my mind, no matter what I would keep trying to recover from my physical issues. After all, your body & mind should be made strong enough to follow your heart.