'By Faith and Not by Sight'

by Tealee A Brown (Rwanda)

A leap into the unknown Rwanda

‘By Faith and Not by Sight’ It was August 23, 2019, I was leaving Liberia for Rwanda where I would now go to school. I was about to leave home for the first time. To fly in a plane for the first time. To have my first travel. I have always been a big travel fanatic, I still am. However, I was never before then opportune to have traveled so I was euphoric..seated right on the edge of ecstasy. At least until I left my family on the outside of the airport and was boarding the plane. I wasn’t ready for this. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it. What was I even thinking, leaving my family, my work, two completed years of university, 20 years of my life behind in the name of starting all over in another country, a strange place where I knew no one? Before that moment, I had planned how everything would go: I’d board the plane, get my seat, take my journal out and write the whole trip, but so much for planning. Taking deep breaths I took slow unsure steps into the plane, not so much because I wanted to but more because I wasn’t willing to make a fool of myself amid all the strangers. There was no turning back now. Dear Experienced Travelers, Please tell us, first-time travelers, that every traveler is assigned a seat and you don’t get to sit wherever you want. We don’t want to have to deal with total strangers telling us, “Excuse me, that’s my seat”. There I was with no idea where to go or what to do next, standing in the aisle of the plane, feeling dismayed and lost. “Let me see your ticket”, I heard. Mr. Stranger had, without doubt, sensed my lack of direction and was doing the noble thing of being a knight in shining armor, thus, coming to the rescue of a dam in distress. I needed saving. I’m in my seat, one of the very gorgeous flight attendants announced that we were about to take off. “This is your first time flying?” the man across from me asked. Staying mute, I nodded obnoxiously. “Close your eyes tight as we take off so that you don’t feel too unnerved”, he said. I closed my eyes, the whole time thinking what it was about me that screamed, ‘first-time traveler’. Approximately two hours into flying and still very undecided as to how I felt about all that had happened in the past few hours, “Do you think it makes sense to drop out of two years of university to go start over at another one? I mean, a university’s a university right so what’s the big deal?”, I heard myself say in a strange-made up confident voice. “First of all, not all universities are just universities and it’s okay to start over if it is what you want..if you feel like the fresh start has more to offer you than where you are now. Where are you from and where are you going, by the way?”, my travel companion (or at least that’s what I had decided he was) responded. ‘Oh, I’m not stupid after all’, is the only thought in my mind as I smiled and nodded at him, saying, “I’m from Liberia, going to Rwanda”. Doing things we haven’t done before can be scary. It doesn’t matter how ready we think we are to dive in. Even when we think we have it all planned and figured out, it can still be very scary, because let’s face it, no matter how small, change can be terrifying. As unsettling as it might leave us feeling in the beginning, I believe making the conscious choice to explore unfamiliar territories and doing it, or taking the “leap of faith”, as it has been termed for centuries, is the first and most vital step toward discovering our true selves. Rwanda has to be one of the most beautiful places on earth and O the things I’ve come to discover. “For we walk by faith, not by sight” - 2 Corinthians 5:7