Completeness

by Kristina Tekuchova (Ukraine)

I didn't expect to find Sweden

It was 6:30 am, complete darkness and silence. Everyone was still sleeping. I made an effort to open my eyes. Yesterday I arrived very late to our apartment and couldn’t get asleep for a long time. Scandinavian wind was so gusty that it crashed into the huge wooden windows in the bedroom and created a whistling sound which reminded of a snowstorm somewhere in the North Pole, just like in a fairytale. I thought about my childhood, when it was so exciting to wake up next morning and see the snowdrifts covering the yard, then going outside and observing how tiny snowflakes, looking like the diamond dust, were changing the colors under the sunshine. There was some muffled light in the kitchen. From the full wall window, early morning red colored glow could be seen at the horizon. I poured some hot tea and looked at the waves compeating with each other for being dominant at this carnival of deep hopes. The old watch showed 7:20 am, the high time to leave for catching the sunrise. Counted, there were exactly 18 stations to pass for getting to Stockholm downtown. This city couldn’t stop amazing me. Its long streets, plain architecture, stylish and friendly inhabitants, clean air, comfort in every detail made a difference. Walking through a park, suddenly, I stood still, ending up on the balcony at the top of a cliff. The whole city opened in front of me. Silence. Peace. Tranquility. The tender lights of the sun were presenting a new day to every shady corner of the narrow streets and a new opportunity to every living being in the country of Vikings. Looking at the small hasty shadows of people down there, I thought: “Where are they rushing to? What’s their life like? What do they dream about?” I didn’t get the answer. But if we only think, how many people really live the life they want? How many of us find their passion and mission? When it’s the time to read the last page, how many of us look back at their life and say: “It was worth living it”? No matter weather you lived 70 or 20 years, who cares to affirm that thick banal novel is certainly more valuable than a short beautiful poem? Going down the road, I went into one of those cozy cafés, located at each corner of the streets, for a sip of coffee and some breakfast. The spectacular view of the sea and the reflection of the austere and charming houses in it took my glance. My special attention was attracted by lonely white boats reminding of small icebergs with a load of secrets beneath. I came closer to the harbor. The gulls were flying just over my head, some of them were on the ground searching for food or begging the passers-by. Their behavior was out of control and they could do anything they wished to. “Nasty birds”, - I thought. The capitan was welcoming everyone on board. Soon the seats were occupied and we sailed away. It was warm inside the cabin, but walking across the wooden deck seemed a lot more interesting to me. I went out. Sharp wind embraced me with its freezing hands, but I didn't feel uncomfortable with it. After taking some photographs on a Polaroid as my memorabilia, I looked in front of myself, trying to grasp where the sea-line ended and sky began. It was all in one. Complete harmony. The gulls appeared again. They were drifting in the air over the sea, widely spreading their wings. “You can fly wherever you want. You have freedom. This is what is called happiness.” I almost said these words out loud, when my mind whispered: “What is holding you?” I turned my head and looked at dear to my heart Stockholm and then at the birds. It made me feel peaceful and complete, when you feel how a huge abyss in your soul was filling up, I was missing it for such a long time. The borders are only in our mind.