Conquering my fears at Orlando Towers

by Zizipho Bam (South Africa)

A leap into the unknown South Africa

There are three things nobody tells you about fear. Firstly, it’s not a good look. There is the blank stare trying to pull off an exciting Joker look, then your attention walking on a tightrope between taking note of the instructions and your impending doom. Finally, your fidgety hands and trembling knees registering an eight on your personal Richter Scale. Not a photogenic moment. Secondly, fear is your body’s way of telling you that something great is coming. Once defeated, it almost always results in pure unbridled joy. The kind you can package and put in an ad about the world’s most courageous people. The clammy skin is quickly replaced by realizing that every bead of sweat is a badge of bravery and honor. Then, the adrenaline. The sudden burst of energy that possesses the calmness in you. It fills your lungs up, your voice, all the way to the tip of your toes. I experienced all these when my feet hit the ground after bungee jumping off a hundred-meter bridge between the Orlando Towers in Soweto, Johannesburg. As someone afraid of heights, I had mentally prepared myself for the panic and impromptu hesitation two weeks before the jump. But I was never ready for the moment we arrived at the safety checkpoint. I was given a harness and a rundown of the safety precautions, which I hardly heard over my pounding heart. Anxious, I ask the lady tightening the harness on me if she has ever jumped before. In the most nonchalant voice she answers, “Aw njalo (oh, all the time), we have to jump every day, it’s part of the job”. One would expect that hearing this would ease my wobbly knees, but as I looked up, I didn’t notice the dope graffiti on the towers, I saw how high I was about to jump and my head started spinning, jaws locked, hands perspiring and my knees relentless in their shaking. I had to tell myself to do it scared. The instructor mentioned nothing about not being scared. So I got into the lift attached to the side of the tower which used to be a coal-fired station that supplied the city of Johannesburg with power and up we went to the top. Briefly reflecting on the fact that I was about to experience the overwhelming energy that still lingers in the air. Of course, everyone warns you about the risk of looking down while standing on top of a high platform. The challenge became resisting exactly what you are told not to do. While waiting in line for my turn, I couldn’t help but feel like I was about to walk towards my fate. Those thirty seconds you spend with yourself as you walk to the middle of the bridge are very life-defining moments. The “You gat this”, “It’s going to be fun”, “You’ll regret it forever if you don’t do this” conversation I was having with myself probably didn’t go the same for the guy in front of me, which freaked me out even more. He was sweating profusely as he stared at the very distant ground, holding on to the bar for dear life, he eventually decided to turn back. At that moment, I realized how much I did not want to give in to the little sissy in me I knew was waiting with open arms. I knew that I needed to jump to prove to fear that I am still in control and obviously for the bragging rights after ticking it off my bucket list. So I did it, clenched jaws, earthquake knees and all. I not only stepped on the ground with immensely uncontrollable energy, but I experienced something even more exhilarating while in the air. I witnessed the beauty and vastness of Soweto with marvel. The colorful township houses amongst the greenery of the trees in the periphery. I was just a speck of dust in the sky, overwhelmed with emotion and full of life. I went from saying my last small prayer to screaming and laughing as my hands swayed through the air. I felt free. The point of ultimate commitment to the unknown, was when I felt most happy.