Delays and dysentery.

by John Scrivener (New Zealand)

A leap into the unknown Cambodia

I had read about this. Every guide had said what to expect. Yet, as I boarded the bus in Bangkok to make my way across the border to Cambodia, I still held on to the faint glimmer of hope that I would still make it to Siem Reap without some form of major issue. To begin with, trundling along in a lovely air conditioned coach on well maintained Thai roads watching the lovely jungle pass is by was great, yet as we got closer to the border, something bad was stirring within me. Maybe it was my subconscious telling me that the guides would be right? Maybe it was my spirit guide forewarning me of what to come? Or maybe it was that dodgy tasting rice I had eaten the night before from a cheap eatery down Khao San road which seemed solely staffed by ladyboys?? It was definitely the rice, and at this point I suddenly noticed that my lovely air conditioned coach lacked a functioning toilet. This was the start of what can only be described as a gargantuan saga, my personal Cambodian Iliad. Eventually we made the border, which meant that we had to not only change buses, but also had to stop where hopefully a loo will be. Racing around like a man possessed, I eventually found a lavatory which could be best described as Pollock-esque, if he had gone through a brown phase. What made matters worst was that it was also essentially a mosquito infested hole in the floor, the dreaded squat toilet. Some say that the squat toilet is a more hygienic experience. I say those people have never seen a grown adult who cannot squat for longer than 20 seconds without losing balance rolling around backwards with their pants around their ankles. After one of the more horrific experiences of my life, I felt that the day could not get worse. Yet again, I was wrong. After crossing the border to Cambodia, we were then placed in a group in the blazing sunshine next to a perfectly working coach. The guide/scam artist said that we couldn't leave until another group came through, but we could spend US$100 to take one of three taxis there. After waiting three hours, people eventually cracked and all three taxis had been taken. At this point, despite no more people arriving through the border, we were told we could go. Aren't we waiting for the others we implored? No was the answer, and I suspect we never were. The local mob seem to run the bus service. First they try check where you're staying in Siem Reap. If you tell them you haven't booked anywhere, then they will tell you to stay at their own hotel on the outskirts. In order to try make you go there, they also don't actually stop in Siem Reap. Instead, they drop you miles outside of it in the middle of nowhere. As a wise man once told me, there is no such thing as a free tuk tuk, which was the case this time. Rather than take us to our hotel, we got taken to the aforementioned hotel. God knows what happens in that dark and foreboding place, but I sure as hell didn't want to find out. I then walked my way in the dark for 30 minutes before finding my hotel, all the time wondering whether I was going to soil myself. After overcoming my illness, I then spent three glorious days exploring Angkor Wat, two days by bike, one day by tuktuk for the temples further away. The Bayon Temple should not be missed! My advice if you want to go to Cambodia? Start building up your core strength through yoga and fly direct!