Discovered myself discovering you

by Debora Škrinjarić (Croatia)

I didn't expect to find Canada

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Squished next to a newly married couple, I am sitting in the window seat, more excited than ever. Before I know it, the nine hour flight is coming to an end, and we are flying near the high buildings of Vancouver. I escape from the busy airport as soon as I can, and I get on a ship to Vancouver island. I am standing on the prow of the ship, and I am observing the tall trees I remember from the Twilight movie, and I see the whales swimming in the ocean next to me. The air here is different than any air I ever breathed in my life. I need some time to learn to breathe again. My lungs feel lighter than ever. Breathing feels like coming out on the surface after living underwater for years. I want to touch the air, I want to hold on to it and never let go. I am at one with air. It is colder than it should be. Or maybe it is colder than I expected. The wind blowing from the Pacific Ocean is biting my cheeks. I am sitting on a withered grass and leaning on an Arbutus tree that is offering me some protection from the wind. I can hear the waves crashing into the island rocks and grunting of the deers in a tall grass. I can feel the invisible force of a jet lag coming over me, and suddenly I am slipping into a completely other world than the one that is surrounding me. When I wake up, the Arbutus tree is still supporting me. It keeps shedding its skin on me, and I can feel that small pieces of it are stuck in my hair. I feel like one with the nature that is surrounding me. I do not even mind that the ant that is crawling on my leg. It feels like it belongs there. I am at one with nature. At nighttime, I am sitting next to the open flame of the fire on the porch. I hear a familiar voice calling me from the docks. I walk through the grass barefoot, following the sound of the voice and the waves. My friend is standing on the planks and holding a lifebuoy. I am confused because he told me earlier that the water is too cold to swim in. He takes my hand and tells me to trust him. He throws the lifebuoy in the ocean, and the water surrounding it lights in the explosion. Bioluminescence looks like something my dreams are made of. Stardust dispersed in the ocean. One look at it, and I am addicted. I lay on the dock on my stomach, inches away from the water, and I observe. I can see the shapes of shrimp surrounded by the light in the water. Suddenly, I see a big light under the water. I realise it is a seal swimming. I am at one with the ocean. My friends asked me what I wanted to do. I told them that I want to see the stars. We pack for a camping trip, and march through the woods. We lay one the ground amongst the tallest trees I have ever seen, and I fall asleep in a million star hotel. The cold air wakes me up early in the morning, but my energy is restored. I am at one with the sky. In the morning, we find a little diner, and I decide to eat pancakes with maple syrup. Explosion of taste in my mouth. I am at one with my senses. I am at one with myself. I went to Canada in hope to find the beauty in nature and architecture. Little did I know that I was about to find myself. Canada calls you to come closer and become one with it, and with yourself again. Once you become one with it, you become one of it. Canada takes your focus off this modern world and helps you re-discover who you are. It helped me find yourself, and although I had to leave, I still carry a piece of it with me. It is a part of who I am.