Don't Panic, Just Breathe

by Whitney Cele (Taiwan)

A leap into the unknown Taiwan

I still remember the paranoid thoughts racing through my mind as I nervously took out my phone and opened up Google Translate. I was going to record the conversation and translate it, that’s how I would know what was going on. Surely. I had never really seen or heard much about this country called Taiwan- I didn’t know where it was on the map and had no clue what it had to offer or what kind of cultural differences to expect as a 20-something Black, African woman. My oldest sister met me at the Taoyuan airport, helped me get a sim card and find my driver-who had a board with my name on it, but couldn’t speak a word of English. She hugged me goodbye and promised to see me soon, as I embarked on what would be a 4-hour drive to the south of the island. I was fine, sitting in the front passenger seat of a fully-loaded airport shuttle, taking snaps of the city skyline as we drove by. I was fine. I rest my head for a bit and woke up a few hours later to a slight nudge from the driver. We were at an intersection, the shuttle was now half-full and my driver was instructing me to get out and transfer into another car parked across the street. Why? Where am I? Who is this? Am I there yet? Nothing, no response just an X-shaped crossing of the arms (which I would later learn meant ’No’) and another, firmer nudge towards my new driver. I say a silent prayer and cross the road. It is darker now and 6 pm here feels like 10 pm back home. I take out my phone and typed in my new school’s address, let’s see if we are at least going in the right direction. Thank You, Jesus, we are 2 hours away and on track. At least until my new driver makes a swift u-turn and parks on the side of the road. This is it! People had warned me about packing up and moving to a new country, I would be trafficked and I was never going to see my mom again. I type out a frantic WhatsApp to my sisters back home and bid them farewell. My heart drops then beats even faster than before, every time I spot a car coming and drive past. Its been the longest 20 minutes of my life. Parked. In the middle of nowhere. In the dark. WHY ARE WE STILL HERE? I ask my driver how much longer and he responds in a calm but loud Chinese soliloquy. I sit back and await my fate. Headlights again, but this time, they don’t pass by. This car stops behind ours and two people get out. My driver jumps out of the car and opens the boot, here we go! I am being sold on the black market for my organs. “Ni hao”. “Oh hello”, a friendly Taiwanese woman gets in and sits next to me. The car moves again. We've been moving again for approximately 5 minutes and nobody has acknowledged my presence much. The woman and the driver are having a very loud and fast conversation, the exclusion is exacerbating my anxiety- the only solution is to record and translate what is being said... Bust. “Where are we?” I finally pluck up the gumption to ask. “Where are you going?” the woman politely responds. I flip over my phone, which hasn’t left my hands in 3 hours and show her an address. "aah, we going to the same town, its only 45 min away, I'll let you know when we close". I breathe.