"Don't you find it dangerous to talk to strangers?"

by Tainá Alves (United Kingdom (Great Britain))

Making a local connection Japan

During my first weeks in Japan, I felt it would be very difficult to connect to people: the social codes were really different from the ones in my country and I felt out of place. I needed to learn, very quickly, all the hierarchical rules, ways of greeting and referring to people, sounds that were not allowed and others that I would never make but that were expected from me, laws about speaking and eating while walking on the street or using public transport, notions of personal space and public displays of affection, titles, touches, looks, lack of eye contact… This seemed a lot to discover and I needed to adapt to that new reality as soon as possible so I could feel more comfortable and confident in that journey – a solo trip that seemed to be, also, a lonely one. Coming from Brazil, I am used to sociable and relaxed people, which comes with a lot of pros and also many cons: in my society, we feel free to ask for help and receive it immediately, we talk to random people in public spaces, we smile and hug. We are open minded and we solve our daily problems with agility and without complaining too much – we are an adaptable people just because we need to be. We have troubles with security, our public transport does not work well, unemployment is a reality for many of us, the social gap is huge and, even so, in many cities, the rich and the poor go together to the same beach. We have all the colours and faces of the world and we are all equally Brazilians. On the other hand, we can be very loud and quite invasive and we are not specialists in following rules simply because they do not work in our country. Arriving on time is a luxury since the buses can be stuck for hours due to traffic or flood and in many big cities the subway covers only the fancy side of it. We have a funny saying that summarises it all: "Brazil is not for amateurs". And this is exactly why, in general, we are easygoing, welcoming, festive and very cheerful: we need it to live with joy in a very complex and unfair social environment. When I first spoke to Akemi, I did not know who was on the other side of the screen – if it was someone young or old, a man or a woman, Japanese or Brazilian. I sent a message to a Facebook page as I was looking for information on a very interesting project I wanted to join in Tokyo. She replied in Portuguese saying she was Japanese and she was very glad for the opportunity to meet me. We talked for a while and we decided to meet in person. She said she would be in front of a cafe wearing a yellow skirt and a green shirt, in the colours of the Brazilian flag. We had a matcha latte and, when we were done with it, she said she would be happy to show me around. The meeting was the opposite of what I had experienced before: I felt "at home" with her, for the first time I felt I could make a friend in Japan. But what struck me was one of the first comments she made, while we were having a very pleasant chat in my own language: "Don't you find it dangerous to talk to strangers?" No – I thought to myself – we do this all the time in my country. But the cultural clashes remind us that the beauty of this world is right there, in the diversity.