Doorway to Myself

by Katie Holmstrom (United States of America)

A leap into the unknown Malaysia

I felt like I was going to be sick while procrastinating to head to the terminal in the airport parking lot. It didn't even feel like fear, just straight nausea and a strong urge to call off the whole trip. My husband drove me to the terminal when my flight was 2 hours away and I reluctantly took my luggage from the car and kissed him goodbye. As soon as I walked through the airport doors my nausea vanished and my sense of being completely on my own for the first time gave me a feeling of lightness. I was traveling internationally for the first time and doing it solo. My flight was out of Seattle to Southeast Asia and I was headed to Malaysian Borneo for a 2-week research assistantship deep in the Borneo rainforest preceded by a 4-day stop in Bali since I would be in the general geographic neighborhood. By the time I made it through 17 hours flying with a 5 hour layover, past the visa line, immigration line and customs line, found the ride I had scheduled for my hotel amongst the hundreds of drivers and made it to my hotel I had been awake for over 40 hours. I arrived at 7 PM local time and dissolved into my bed for 12 hours. I awoke in my own slice of Ubud rainforest to the sound of birds with sunshine peaking through the green tapestry overhead cloaked by heavy warm air. It felt like I had found one of my homes in the world. I was baffled by the stark difference between the madness of the roads and drivers on the ride to the hotel compared with the complete peace I felt basking in the jungle. I settled into the exotic culture, tranquility and sunshine of Bali for a few days. The Balinese people were astonishingly friendly and open to sharing their Hindu traditions and ceremonies with me. It was the first time I had interacted with a population completely foreign to me and I was blown away by how much more welcome I felt halfway across the world compared to my home in the states. Before I knew it, it was time to set off for Borneo. Arriving in Borneo was easy enough, finding the courage to identify and engage with my designated group of strangers who were also there for a research assistantship was quite the opposite. Fortunately, we were all wearing the same shirts and another participant approached me first. We congregated in a conference room and attended a safety seminar about the basics of living in the jungle including a lecture on microbes and the technique to treat poisonous snake bites. Our group traveled by plane and then off-road for 3 hours to arrive in camp at the Sabah Biodiversity Experiment, one of the largest scientific investigations in forest ecology and restoration . For two weeks we were immersed in landscape research projects as PhD candidates were studying climate change impacts in the rainforest. We served as field technicians to help scientists gather data and worked alongside local Malaysian residents who live in the camp year round conducting field work. During our time off we played sports with the locals, sampled a variety of Malaysian foods including the most heavenly deep fried bananas and learned words and phrases in Malay. The culture, religion, language, and food in Borneo were different than Bali but I experienced the same friendliness and openness in both locations. The three weeks I spent in Southeast Asia were pivotal for my understanding of how I wanted my life priorities to look. I was inspired to explore foreign cultures and travel to as many places as I could afford. I have since spent the majority of my disposable income on travel and have found much joy, growth and satisfaction from the experience of visiting new places and learning to navigate culture, geography, logistics, language, cuisine and the inevitable travel challenges that arise. Travel has been a doorway for me to myself and has served as a valuable guide to help answer the questions posed by life along the way.