Find Comfort in Your Discomfort

by Eliza rosenwasser (United States of America)

A leap into the unknown USA

Finding comfort in your discomfort is a term that I heard at sorority recruitment 3 years ago, and it has stuck with me ever since. I honestly feel like that saying completely sums up traveling alone in the most cliche nutshell one could imagine. Maybe it’s walking up to a stranger and asking to sit with them at a meal, trying a food that you would never find at home, or anything in between. To me, it just means pushing yourself to do something that isn’t easy. And boy did I do that this week. I came back to Thailand specifically to get my diving certification. After just a few weeks of traveling, I met countless people that raved about scuba diving and had nothing but amazing things to say about it. So... of course I had to make my way to Koh Tao Island, the second most popular place in the world to become a certified diver (mostly because of the relatively cheap prices). I was excited to get in the water and be one with the fishies. The first day of the course was just in the classroom, and so was the morning of the second day. After a lunch break on the second day, we were fitted for equipment and taken out on a boat to learn some skills in shallow water at a nearby beach. Having never experienced panic attacks, I had no idea what was about to come. After just a few seconds of having my face underwater, I began uncontrollably hyperventilating. I couldn’t keep myself to stay underwater. The idea of trusting a machine to keep me alive was too difficult for my brain. It was beyond frustrating for me. Looking underwater and seeing the fish below, I wanted nothing more than to be able to relax and calmly explore the bottom of the ocean. That first day of skills training, the panic was too intense and I couldn’t keep myself underwater for more than a few minutes. I left the dive site that day angry with myself for not being able to cope with the difficult situation. And not just any situation, but one that I had specifically returned to Thailand to accomplish. I spent that entire night going back and forth in my mind about my choices of either finishing the course, or dropping out. I knew if I quit, I would be wildly disappointed with myself. So, I went into hardcore pep talk mode in my mind. The entirety of that night and the next morning, I was convincing my brain that I just had to calm down in the water and everything would be fine. The next day, we finished the classroom portion of the course then set off on the boat for our first 2 official dives. After giving myself some time of adjusting to comfortably breathing underwater, I had faced my fear. That day, I was able to descend 12 meters underwater into the world of beautiful fish and coral below. I came out of those dives all smiles, so amazed by the silence and serenity of the underwater world. The next and final day of the course, I awoke at 5:30am for the final 2 dives. I was now able to effortlessly submerge myself and take in the beauty that diving had to offer, all the way to 18meters deep. I had conquered my mental barrier, and for that I was so proud of myself. My travels have time and time again put me to tests of discomfort in a wide range of different situations. Diving was an ultimate test for me, and I was able to surpass it... by finding comfort in my discomfort.