FINDING HER TRUE IDENTITY

by Mpho Bhembe (South Africa)

I didn't expect to find Lesotho

FINDING MY TRUE IDENTITY. GROWING UP WAS ALWAYS A CHALLENGE ESPECIALLY IF YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR BIRTH FATHER BUT HEARD STORIES ABOUT HOW CRUEL HE WAS TO LEAVE YOU AT A YOUNG AGE. MY MOTHER WAS A BEAUTIFUL SOUTH AFRICAN WHO MET A GUY FROM LESOTHO IN THE 90S. ACCORDING TO MY MOTHER, THEY MET AT A FUNERAL. I GUESS MY FATHER CAME ALL THE WAY FROM LESOTHO TO ATTEND THAT FUNERAL. THEY EXCHANGED TELEPHONE NUMBERS BECAUSE THEY WERE MILES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. STRANGE HOW WE FIND LOVE IN HOPELESS PLACES. IT FEELS RIGHT AT FIRST EVEN KNOW WE KNOW THAT IT MIGHT BE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT BUT WE JUST HAVE THAT HOPE THAT IT WILL LAST FOREVER. I FIND LOVE AS A POWERFUL TOOL TO BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER DESPITE THE SPACE BETWEEN THEM. TWO YEARS LATER WITHOUT SEEING EACH OTHER, MY FATHER CAME BACK IN SOUTH AFRICA TO SEE MY MOTHER. THEY TOOK IT FROM THERE AND MADE A BEAUTIFUL BUNDLE OF JOY. MY MOTHER WAS EXCITED ABOUT HAVING ME. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WAS MY DAD DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH RESOURCES TO START A LIFE HERE. NEITHER WAS HE PREPARED TO LEAVE HIS WHOLE FAMILY IN LESOTHO. IT WAS TERRIFYING FOR MY MOTHER TO RAISE HER FIRST BORN DAUGHTER WITHOUT ANY SUPPORT STRUCTURE. IT CAUSED SO MUCH DISTRESS AND PREGNANCY COMPLICATIONS DURING HER SECOND TRIMESTER. I HONESTLY FEEL FOR HER BUT NEVER REALLY BLAMED MY FATHER FOR HIS DECISION. THERE COMES A TIME TO CHOICE BETWEEN A PERSON YOY JUST MET AND YOUR LIFETIME FAMILY. LIFE CONTINUED WITHOUT HIM. MY MOTHER DID AN AMAZING JOB TO RAISE ME ON HER OWN. SADLY SHE PASSED ON 2016. MY LIFE COMPLETELY CHANGED BECAUSE AFTER THE FUNERAL, MY FATHER SENT HIS FAMILY MEMBERS TO FETCH ME. I FELT SO SICK BECAUSE I HAD TO ADOPT TO THAT ENVIRONMENT. I BARELY KNEW HOW TO SPEAK PROPER SISOTHO. I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP EACH AND EVERY NIGHT, WISHING THAT MY MOTHER WAS STILL ALIVE. YEARS WENT BY AND I FINALLY GOT TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO KNOW YOUR TRUE ROOTS. CULTURE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING. IT'S THAT INDIGENOUS FEELING YOU WILL EVER FIND IN THE ENTIRE ENITITY. YOU CAN TRAVEL THE WORLD BUT HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS. IT TRULY FELT REFRESHING TO CLIMB THE MOUNTAINS, LOOK AT THE RIVER STREAMS AND LISTENING TO IT'S BEAUTIFUL MELODY AND SHOUT MY HEART OUT. SPEAKING TO MY ANCESTORS. THE BEAUTY OF BEING AT LESOTHO WAS MIND BLOWING. I CAN PROUDLY SAY THAT, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. FINDING YOUR TRUE IDENTITY IS THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE. WE JUST HAVE YO CHERISH WHERE WE COME FROM AND APPRECIATE THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKES US HUMAN.