Finding myself on Kilimanjaro

by Valentyna Miziuk (Ukraine)

I didn't expect to find Tanzania

There are times in this unpredictable life when there is neither strength nor patience for all these miseries... I have parted with my beloved and I cannot forget him. Nothing even comes to work that I love so much. I lost all my friends in the pursuit of love and money. I do not get along with my parents and leave them. I'm tired ... I can't do that anymore. And at this very moment, I need a complete restart. The plane lands in hot African Tanzania. I knew almost nothing before about it, except one thing - it is the biggest dream for me and hundreds of other Kilimanjaro travelers. I spend a few days arranging equipment and assistance. Time goes so slowly. I can't wait to challenge myself. It seems that the young guide sees this in my eyes, and agrees with excitement. I do not remember the last time my feet measured the gentle slopes of the majestic mountains, but now I need to clear my thoughts. I need to reach the peak to come right back to life ... I do not see people walking near, because I am all in my thoughts and I am alone. Alone, as in reality. Several hours I go by in these reflections and in the measured course. I know it's been a while, but the start has been made. The homes of a small settlement under a mountain have already disappeared from view. Only the earth, the trees, the sky and me. And the height that calls to conquer new peaks. But it gets colder, and the clothes stop saving from it. The thoughts again crept into my head: the face of a guy who pretented to love me, the cries of my parents, stacks of paper, which I tore into frenzy. I stop and exhale. No, not to mention that life! It is in the past. And now it's just me and Kilimanjaro. This is only our silent dialogue that no one else will interfere. Mileage notes don't even get my attention anymore. Cold is right up to my bones. There is almost nothing to breathe. To me, like numbers of tourists, they dedicate the memorial plaque, and this is the best case scenario. But wait… Enough! I have no right to give up... I am literally seeing Hans Meyer and Ludwig Purtscheller alongside. They walk side by side, freezing, and they just don't give up. Vivat, the pioneering heroes! If not for you - I wouldn't be here right now. Under my feet the earth is shaking. Or does it just seem ... Maybe it's another collapse, and maybe it's just my imagination waking up a volcano that has been silent for almost two hundred thousand years. Wake up, my friend. Melt the eternal cold in the icy peaks of my mind. Prove that you can still change everything. Fortunately, everything is quiet and there are sharp icy peaks around. Here it is - the Furtwangler glacier, beautiful in daylight. Congratulations, the harbinger of the top. Will you accept me? Will you allow me to finish this? I lose my strength and I barely pray. It hurts. Coldly. Terrible. However, excitement and human love for life is doing its thing. The last ten meters ... Kibo is already creeping under my feet, which I can barely feel. As an animal who decided to show character at once, the earth under my feet seemed to start sticking to the heavy boots. I'll do it. I have to! Flag. Sun. Uhuru obeyed me, and breathing is easy. I fall on my back and whether I cry or laugh... I finally I notice how beautiful this wonderful world is: bright, great and full of happiness. I live - and wherever I am, I felt it and understood it! What is the mindset of people, when through the eternal cold, darkness and pain, I reached the peak of a sleeping volcano, which gave me a true life, full of beauty and inspiration! I smile at the world and my new self. I no longer dream of hiding in a corner - I just want to live in such moments ... Forever.