Finding peace in the chaos of my mind

by Hetal Shah (India)

A leap into the unknown Italy

Shares

why do you want to go for so long? what if you don't fit in?'' voice1 ''ssh does not listen to her'' voice2 ''what? I am just trying to make sense here she never even traveled anywhere in India let alone internationally that too alone''voice1 ''I know but everything has to start from somewhere''voice2 ''But what if there are monsters there? ''voice1 ''Now you are not making sense''voice2 *They both start arguing* shut up! I said loudly not realizing how loud I was on the airplane on my way to Italy for 3 months. There was a sense of restlessness inside me but I knew I have to this to get out of my comfort zone. Arriving at Malpensa airport in Milan I saw different types of people and culture than where I live in Mumbai it was different yet intriguing. There was a smile on my face smile of experiencing something, smile to explore this magnificent place. To buy sim card I went to a nearby shop and said ''hello I want sim card" ''Non capisco'' oh no, he doesn't understand me! after some hand gestures got my sim card yay! Hopping in a taxi and arriving at my apartment I decided to rest. A few hours later there was the loud sound of growling don't worry though it was from the stomach so I went to get dinner at a nearby restaurant after having mouthwatering pizza as I was walking down the street at late night there was silence as grave I saw young, broad and the somewhat shady looking man behind me. ''run! he may try to rob you'' said an inner voice. so I ran. as I was running I stumbled across rock and felled ''oh no are you ok'' said a man ''yes,'' I said smiling awkwardly Back to my apartment after an awkward conversation. sleeping on my bed I was thinking about how would I make it for 3 months? should I go back home after some days? At the moment I was missing my family and all I wanted was to go home. I was exhausted from the long journey so I didn't know when I fell asleep. As I woke up I thought to myself even though I don't decide to live here I should at least visit places and try to connect with a different type of people . after visiting the nearby cafe and ordering myself some delicious coffee and blueberry pancake. I went to Dumo di Milano still nothing the restlessness won't go away. I went to Sempione park and suddenly there was a sense of calmness inside me, there was green grass everywhere bird chirping, huge trees and calmness of water washing all my worries I could just sit hours and admire the beauty of this place I was consumed by this beautiful at the moment there i felt relif and it felt like more than just home it felt like the place where I belong just like that the voice inside my head was gone. At the moment I knew exactly I wanted as I was sitting there this quote comes to my mind“I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It’s all a question of how I view my life.” Fast-forward 3 months to the day I will be saying goodbye to this beautiful country, I will never forget what country thought me this country thought me to be more independent, help me make new friends, learn more about different people perspective and also thought me to take risks and not fearing the outcome .i made friends with people whom I never been friends otherwise and did I mention' isto imparando l'italiano, so anyone out there, if you have dreamed of living in a different country but scared due to not knowing, is this worth it or having sort of anxiety I have one advise for you said by famous philosopher "'just do it''.most of time its all in our head cause even bad experience can provide you more value than not having experience at all.adios!