Food from the Loboratory

by Christopher Higgins (United Kingdom (Great Britain))

I didn't expect to find Spain

In 2017, the NH Collection hotels hosted Laborotorio Canalla on Tour, a culinary tour led by chef Tito González and incorporating guest chefs. I was one of the lucky few who got to experience this amazing, Michelin-starred menu. It happened completely by accident. When I checked into the NH Collection Villa de Bilbao, I didn’t expect to be told that the restaurant would be closed the next night unless I made reservations for the ‘special event’ they were hosting. No menu was provided, and I was warned it would be an event unlike anything I had ever experienced. Intrigued, I signed up on the spot. I arrived at half past nine, in the fanciest jeans and t-shirt combination I could find in my luggage, and waited in the hotel lobby. This meant there was no band logo on the front of the shirt, while everybody else wore suits and cocktail dresses. Always bring something a little more formal when you travel, readers, even if you think you won’t need it. At ten o’clock, a young man in black jeans, white t-shirt, a fedora, and rainbow suspenders started calling our names through a megaphone and escorting us to the restaurant one table at a time. I was the last called, and when I arrived upstairs, I knelt in front of the confessional booth they had set up. The man from the front desk, wearing priestly vestments and a collar, looked up at me and smiled. ‘Before you go in, you must take Communion.’ I ate the slice of cucumber topped with caviar he offered me. After making the sign of the cross, I was handed a plastic syringe filled with liquor and escorted to a table for one. The inside of the restaurant was lit with dim purple lighting, with candles and foam skulls on the table. A DJ played electronica music side-by side with a handful of chefs, who were dancing and swigging beer as they prepared the dishes. A fog machine turned on shortly after my arrival, spreading a thick mist across the floor. There was a menu on the table, but I couldn’t read it. It was in Spanish, or maybe Basque, and I could only make out a few words. There were about fourteen different things on there, and as the food started arriving at tables unprompted, I figured we would be eating them all. I tried to keep track of which one I was eating, but even with the few words I could make out, it was obvious they were not listed in consecutive order, so I had no way of knowing what I was eating. I soon got lost in the thumping bass and the whirlwind of food arriving at my table. Most of it was delicious, such as what seemed to be pea soup served in a beer bottle, but some of it was just bizzare to my tastebuds. I could swear that one course was just raw fish dipped in a warm chocolate sauce, but I will never know for sure. As a writer, I take notes at things like this, which seemed to concern the chefs greatly. Between each course, at least two of them approached me to see if I was enjoying myself, and to make sure I wasn’t running low on beer. I assured them everything was wonderful, even the chocolate fish course that made me gag, and eventually put away the notebook to ease their minds. Some of the courses were liquor, prepared on one side of the room at what looked like an alchemist’s laboratory, and served in test tubes or eye-droppers. The combination of music, lighting, liquor and beer made for a very disorienting experience, but by the time the food service ended, it no longer seemed like different groups sat at different tables. We were all there together, enjoying an evening of food and music. The music stopped, and everyone sang happy birthday to a young woman in a tight cocktail dress. Afterwards, she rushed from table to table, unwilling to let anyone leave without getting a picture taken with her. Laborotorio Canalla had delivered on their promise of an unforgettable dining experience.