Hope, Love, Culture

by Navitha Varsha (India)

A leap into the unknown India

I looked up and saw white upturned umbrellas illuminated by warm yellow lights against a backdrop of velvet black. As I sat with my fresh lime juice, I smiled as he caught my eye from the far end of the wedding hall. I was meeting him for the second time in my life, the first being at a workshop almost a year ago when he was my junior. A random post on social media reminded him that coincidentally we were both in the city that Sunday. A spontaneous casual meeting at a café didn’t happen as intended and instead I ended up at his uncle’s wedding as his guest. Just a few hours earlier I had told him about my prognosis of 90 days. And just minutes ago he had danced with me, nudging my heart to take a leap of faith, to dare me to hope when doctors gave me no hope. Post the wedding, he told me that he wants to spend his life with me. I was stumped. He said that he wanted to travel with me to explore alternative treatment options for my cancer. While I wasn’t too keen on encouraging his feelings given the uncertainty of my life, I knew I had fallen in love with him too. While an irrational part of me agreed to travel with him without an exact date in mind, my rational side took over and I ended up going off the grid for the next three months. I got myself treated amidst nature without chemotherapy and once I was declared ‘cancer free’, I reached out to him. And we picked off from where we left – to travel together! It had been exactly 217 days since that dreamy summer evening. I thought about him incessantly as I boarded my train to the small coastal town of Kanhangad in Kerala. With racing heart beats and nervous smiles, we greeted each other on the crowded railway station platform. We had decided to start our journey by exploring ashrams. Both of us being from different cultural upbringing, we wanted to understand if cultural mindsets were transcended by love. Being an unmarried Indian couple in a conservative South Indian ashram attracted unnecessary attention even though they say that all are welcome and there is no discrimination. We walked in to the reception wearing comfortable sweats & sneakers, lugging around our big rucksacks and were met with clear disapproving looks. We were asked questions about our relationship and reluctantly handed over a brochure indicating the different activities we could participate in if we wished to. We were given two keys to different rooms housed in one block. As we retired into our own rooms for the next few hours, realisation finally dawned. Our journey together had begun! A quick nap was broken by a bell indicating lunch time. We walked into the dining hall cheerfully and were told rather rudely by the men who served at the counter not to sit together. The long hall was divided into two separate sections for men and women. Amidst stolen glances and shy smiles, we ate all meals sitting at tables facing each other. Since we were given an option of doing our own sadhana (spiritual practice), we decided to stay indoors and together practice yoga asanas (physical exercises). Early in the night we retired to our own rooms. The next morning, we were called to the reception area and were given a long lecture on how to behave in an ashram. We were monitored from the moment we entered as an unmarried couple said the reception staff who was joined by the dining staff. We were taken aback by the contrast between words and actions and sought the ashram swamiji (head) to understand our mistake. Under his patient guidance that lasted for an hour long session every morning, we extended our three-day visit to a week-long stay. Cultural mindsets are indeed transcended by love. We realised this as our daily smiles and greetings were returned gladly by the reception and dining staff as we bid goodbye to the ashram and made way to the next ashram eager to see what awaited us.