How i gained freedom

by Oksana Tofanyuk (Ukraine)

A leap into the unknown Ukraine

About what has dreamed everyone of us? Most people will say that they dreamed of fame and fortune (yes, this is the dream of mankind in the21st century) but there will be a small part of people who will say that their dream was and is freedom. Hmmm… Freedom… So powerful world that can be translated in different ways. But for myself I translate it in the only one way and It is “ability to feel”, feel with all your heart, feel with all your soul, feel so pure and innocent. And I have found that special for me “feeling” in Chernobyl. Many of you now imagine 1986 year, the Soviet Union, one of the greatest catastrophes in human history, a HBO series, but after visiting that place I imagine something more deeper that can imagine you and I will try to show you the all depth of my feelings. I just want to say that I have never delved into the topic of Chernobyl, and only knew the general facts that were taught to us at school on the lesson that was called “history of Ukraine”. So when I got the chance to visit Chernobyl I was not very happy, even on the contrary, I was confused and scared. I started looking for information about this city, I was overthinking. I have thought about everything: about radiation, about ghost-town even about… DEATH. What else could I have thought of? 16-year-old girl goes to the city which are surrounded by legends and myths. Now I am feeling so stupid because of my fears about Chernobyl. So after making all the necessary tickets and documents, after a long goodbye to all my family members (even my cat) and a few hours on the bus, I see this spooky Pripyat sign from which I have got a goosebumps. “It is just beginning. What will wait me in the Exclusion zone?”-I have asked myself a lot of times. And here we go. From the first steps on this ground, you feel all the mysticism and power of this place. Lost Doll ... And you start to imagine the fair-haired girl playing this doll. One boot ... Schoolbooks left by students with hopes of returning ... Empty beds with toys in kindergarten… There are many different things with different stories that alarm has left in Chernobyl forever. You know I have thought a lot of about that lost things, I wanted to understand what all these things have in common and now I understand this is Hope. People who have lost these things or simply forgotten them have left here their hope of returning. So there are no landmarks here, but emotion lives here. Sadness, anxiety, mysticism, singularity, courage, desperation, uniqueness. It was something worth seeing. When you are there, you forget about everything in the world, about your daily worries, about your hyperactivity, about your fears, about your pain, about your hidden depression. You throw off your shell or spit from the outside world and start to be who you really are. Still, I have visited some places there: City amusement park. This is one of the most famous places in Pripyat, and the view of the Ferris wheel has almost become one of the "calling cards" of the Zone. Red forest. The forest area near the Chernobyl nuclear power plant was badly affected by the release of radioactive dust. The trees died, and their leaves turned red. During decontamination, the trees were torn down and buried. Now normal trees already grow in the forest, however, they show signs of mutations - too many or few branches, stunting, too long or short needles, or its complete absence Chernobyl bridge of death. At the entrance to the city of Pripyat is a pedestrian bridge that connected the city with the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. During the accident at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, a cloud of radionuclides covered this place. It was believed that a person who passed over this bridge would certainly die after a few days. But what I want to say by that essay, I have became myself and got an incredible supply of feelings and freedom.