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Take all the time to plan, all of 1 day of googling and phone calls to a resort. Sometimes spontaneity is the cure to analysis-paralysis. You just need to know the basics: how are you going to get there and back, where will you sleep and who to travel with. Pick a date as close to the coming weekend as possible and prioritise it. Agree to meet at a designated spot at dawn but leave room for the 1 hour wait. There will be one or two who wake up when you call to find out if they are close. Be prepared to change cars twice so as few bags as possible is necessary. Make sure you have a ‘mama-bear’ in your crew who has food for everyone. Absolutely nothing from yoga to running daily can prepare you to travel in that dreaded 3rd seat in an ‘along’ vehicle. For 5 hours. If you arrive on a sunny day don’t hesitate to take pictures immediately. Take in the views, get lost in the wonder, whip out the camera and make plans with the resort manager. Don’t let the rain dampen your spirit. A group of 5 can easily entertain each other better than a group of 2. Choose to patronize a praised local restaurant and choose to walk on vague directions. Getting lost is part of the adventure. Marvel at the nature/human hybrid of the town: houses leaning on boulders and houses with boulders as the 4th wall. Order food but be careful of the meat trap: they bring a big bowl of meat and you only pay for what you take from the bowl. Appreciate how cheap the food is but don’t get too comfortable. When night falls and there’re no street light, the main street is in darkness and there are fewer people on the streets and no bikes to take you back to the resort. Panic a little as you walk uphill. In your panic leave half your crew behind. When the werewolf comes out you will have a good head start on them. Fire wood is ready but the rain isn’t done. Pull on your thick hoody and explore the resort while the ‘outdoorsy-one’ of the crew works his magic. Stare into the darkness at the end of the cliff, the nothingness, the faraway city lights and the solitary lights of farmers in their wilderness farms. Stare at the stars uncovered by zero light pollution. Live in the moment and enjoy your mostly done yam and salted palm oil with red wine. Call it a night at 2am. Revel in the history of the resort, the colonial buildings, the half-way houses, the ancestors and foreigners who have stepped on the paths you stand on generations ago. Hide in the caves they sheltered in from the rain in a war. Pass by farms with fresh fruits and pick some. Marvel at the tour guide hiking barefoot while you stomp in heavy hiking boots. Visit a lover’s seat set atop a hill carved out in stone over a pond, overlooking the best views in the house. Wonder about the dynamics of how 2 lovers can be romantic in a natural Jacuzzi. Take wild two-toned Aloe Vera plants as souvenirs and have that one person who ‘we don’t deserve’ to add spice to the whole adventure with a killer playlist. Follow the hike through the town as its on a big hill itself. Visit a 15 foot deep pond on a hill rumoured to have killed people, stay clear of a green pond with diabolical undertones. Enjoy the natural beauty of the plant arrangements, the flowering Lilly pads, the giant cacti, the views from the center of town, the market opening, the church event, the-one street-town coming to life. Wake up to finish final packing. The driver arrives early but a surprise: a baby turtle was found in the ponds in the hills and it wants a new home in Abuja. The ‘mama-bear’ adopts him. Farewells are swift and you mentally prepare for the dreaded 3rd seat in the car. It’s a long 5 hours and a race to finish some novels. Till we see again, Ososo.