I didn't expect to find

by Asima Manzoom (Pakistan)

I didn't expect to find Pakistan

I didn’t expect to find It was spring’s evening, the aroma of white flowers covered every site of the city, and it was like an imaginary scenario. The fragrance of spring tried to touch the red sky, the sun wanted to say something but his connection with earth was failed, sometimes the clouds came in front of sun and sometimes the air disturbed the connection and the day passed. At mid night every corner was dark, the moon showers its light everywhere, as usual she came out and tried to run away from home but she failed, there was something that stopped her feet to step out from the boundaries of home. Today Soma motivated herself and left her daughter and two sons behind. She was first PhD doctor of her family after got married; she started teaching at university everyone was very happy. She was pregnant with her first child. It was an unfortunate moment for her when her daughter born. She lived in a society where first birth of child as a baby girl was not acceptable but birth of baby boy celebrated happily. Everyone now didn’t like her she even couldn’t convenience her family that it was not her mistake it’s a natural process. She went into depression; she lost her family support her social life was finished now she is just a teacher. But five years later she birth twin’s son. Her family was very happy and everyone cared her. She started to live in a new city where no one knew her, she found new job and made new friends. She had no more depression, everyone said about her an independent women who has will power to bring change in society. She started to raise her voice for voiceless. She made shelter for homeless women. One day late night she was walking out side of her office suddenly a broken mirror cut her right foot, she sat down to collect the pieces to throw but when she saw her face in a piece, her face wrinkles became more prominent and cried itself that you left worthy things behind. She was being disturbed by her inner echo. She took sleeping pills and slept. She saw that broken pieces of mirror in dream but now the story is totally change there was three pieces suddenly the one that she picked up, fell down and it divided into more pieces. She woke up, felt sweat and tears rolling down on her checks. It was out of control she became panic after that she could not sleep whole night and it was like a night mare for her. Next morning the windows were open, when the very first rays of the sun slowly touch her head. She felt jerk like her soul took shower and all the pains automatically removed like somebody took shower to remove all the dirt from body. She left her job and eight years later she came back her home. At home the circumstances were totally different her children did not recognize her. Her husband got second marriage her mother in law was ill. Gradually a year later her connection with family was became strong, her children started to be attached with her. Her mother in law was the main reason because of her soma left home. She always realized Soma that a son is sign of victory, at the end her own son left and living with his second wife. Soma wrote a beautiful speech on her daughter’s birthday “I saw you in my dream in shape of broken mirror, and it was the most painful moments for me. Sorry for everything my princesses whatever happened with you. Today I am standing in front of you; I have been through a long journey. Not everyone got this opportunity in their life to experience, it was not just a story it is an identity. Today my both children are standing with me, a woman’s real power. God makes me a strong example. Whenever I faced difficulties I thought I didn’t expect to find myself but now I find my soul. A writer Ams once said, “In the desert of their desires, they buried my soul.”