I took a leap into the unknown. Let me explain how !

by jade cara (South Africa)

A leap into the unknown South Africa

It was January, 2017. There I was, in a relationship of 3 years that barely felt like it could survive another month, and a job offer to start a life anew in Mexico. I took it. I got to Guadalajara with two suitcases filled with clothes I never got a chance to wear, because despite Google’s assurance that the temperatures could easily get down to 2° Celsius during the night, I never needed more than a light cardigan to go outside. with a heart overflowing with resentment and pain, I turned Mexico into the scapegoat of all my problems. I was unhappy, I felt empty and worst of all, I missed myself dearly. It had to change! Or at least, that is how cool I wish I had been, but in reality, change came slowly. I stopped sleeping in my Uber trips and started cycling the flat streets of Guadalajara. Venturing into its colorful pueblos I came across all sorts of dubious looking yet delicious street food. How else would I ever know Jamaica is also the name of an edible flower that makes for delicious vegetarian quesadillas? I made my way to the West and fell in love with the Pacific Ocean — walking into Sayulita’s clear waters, surrounded by flickering speckles of golden sand, I couldn’t ask for more. Yet, I was gifted more, and bathed in the brightest orange skies a sunset can paint. It was September, 2018. I remember laying down in the shades of a palm tree, listening to the calm sea waves breaking on the shore, re-reading an old book and realizing that, after so long, I was finally feeling happy and whole again. Had my story finished there, we could all shed a tear over my happy ending, but Mexico was not done with me yet. The plot twist came in the form of a new love. I’ve had a hard day at work, I threw up all my lunch, it was late, I was hungry, too tired to cycle and Ubers were on a strike. My seemingly best option was to ask for a ride to this colleague with whom most conversations so far had ended in bickering and diplomatic offensive remarks about each other. Again, I took it. On the valid argument that it’d be the quickest way to have food, he convinced me to join him for some snacks and drinks… I guess it was a dry evening — it’s always dry in Guadalajara — filled with traffic noise and some reggeaton tunes playing around. I can’t tell for sure, though — my attention, for hours, got swept by the puzzling person in front of me. Inadvertently, that was the beginning of my intensive lesson on what falling in love really feels like, what it entails and the blissful moments it can create. Fast forward 5 months and here I am staring into the Pacific Ocean again. Our work contract has ended. He’s going back to the US. I’ll head to South Africa. It’s our farewell trip. When I first put a backpack on my shoulders to go see the world, I lost myself into a relationship that took with it the beauty of the places I visited and stained my experiences to the point I didn’t feel comfortable sharing them with anybody. Mexico became my hideout, one that I hated at first, but that with its kindness, authenticity and surprises paved a sanctuary of peace into my mind. Once again, I’m leaving with an aching heart. This time, however, I’m proud of my feelings