In Japan Without a Plan

by Asiya Javed (United States of America)

A leap into the unknown Japan

I looked at the map and picked a country really far from home, that's how I ended up in Japan last January. I had always dreamed of backpacking alone, but given my life's circumstances, I never had the opportunity. As a Pakistani-Muslim woman and an immigrant, I experienced a lot in my 30 years of life. From being undocumented, losing my father, working late-night shifts to afford college, suffering from anxiety and depression, and most recently getting divorced- the last thing I ever thought I would have the privilege to do was solo travel in Japan. By 2019 I had saved up enough money, and I was also a new US citizen. So I decided to quit my job, packed a backpack, and booked a one-way flight to Japan. I showed up to a country I knew nothing about and had nothing planned. Given my anxiety, ending up in Japan without a plan wasn't the smartest idea, but I would soon discover why that was the best thing I would do for myself. I have suffered from anxiety all my life, and circumstances that led up to this solo trip had only made things worse. In Japan, I spent hours hiding under the covers in my hostel bed. My hunger would eventually force me out of bed, which also allowed me to explore the city. I questioned my decision to solo travel, had I fallen prey to the wanderlust photos on Instagram? Little did I know what waited ahead for me. One day I was at a train station in Tokyo, and that's when I saw them for the very first time- a poster of the most adorable creatures I had ever seen- Snow Monkeys bathing in a hot spring. The moment I saw that poster, I decided I would go see these monkeys because it's simply something that shouldn't be missed. And since I had no plans set in stone, I hopped on a train, then a bus, and four hours later, I was in Nagano. When I got to Nagano prefecture, I didn't realize how cold and icy it was going to be. I was wearing tennis shoes and didn't have enough layers on. The walk up to the park can be very slippery and takes about an hour. I decided to rent boots from the little shop at the entrance. Unfortunately, they didn't have my size, so I ended up with shoes that were a size too small for me. With my suffocated feet and frozen face, I made my way up to the park. I was miserable, cold, and furious with myself for not being better prepared. But then I turned the corner to the most delightful sight- dozens of monkeys bathing in hot springs. It seemed like a dream come true, but I didn't even realize it was a dream to begin with. I witnessed so much love and affection between these snow monkeys. Some of them sat there hugging each other for hours to keep each other warm, others picked lice out of each other's hair, I saw snow monkey moms run around with their babies clung to their chests. I found myself crying and laughing at the same time, like a madwoman. My feet were throbbing, my face was freezing, but my heart was warm. This leap into the unknown allowed me to witness the magic of snow monkeys and also my own strength. It reminded me that I am allowed to live and experience so much more than just anxiety. I still suffer from anxiety, but I don't let it stop me from traveling alone. Solo travel makes me feel a certain way, and the name of that feeling is 'vulnerability.' Anxiety and vulnerability isn't an ideal combination, but my dreams are bigger than my fears. After Japan, I went to several other countries alone- and in each country, I experienced the same anxious thoughts but was comforted by the unfamiliar yet unique magic of that country. When I left for my solo trip, I didn't know what the future entailed, but when I returned, I came back with a mantra- "Travel changes you, solo travel transforms you!"