Intentionally lost, Unintentionally found

by Harriet Carter (United Kingdom (Great Britain))

A leap into the unknown New Zealand

My palms were sweaty as I gripped the steering wheel. As I drove away from the local airport, trying to concentrate on simply driving was harder than I ever could have imagined. My mind filled with negative thoughts ‘you’re completely alone’.. ‘what on earth are you doing’ ‘you’ll regret this’. My boyfriend - although I wasn’t entirely sure what we were now, was on his way back to the comforts of home, his family waiting with open arms. He hadn’t enjoyed the travelling lifestyle. I had decided to stay here in New Zealand, on the other side of the world, a whole 30-hour flight from home in some sort of brave move that was starting to feel less and less exhilarating as I drove further away. My life was in a tent. I’d lived in this tent for the past four months, travelling around with my boyfriend exploring the country, our little routine set - we moved weekly, he had his side of the bed where he put his bag and his items. The ‘kitchen’ section of the tent had his mug sitting empty next to mine, his favourite hot chocolate ready to be made. But as I returned to my home, the emptiness stood out as a shouting confirmation to my already negative thoughts. I laid back on the half flat airbed. I had no job, minimal funds and I vaguely knew one person, who I had met 2 days prior. Four years we had been together, and here I was throwing it away to ‘live the dream’ of life abroad. ‘Who was I kidding’. Tears started to roll down my cheeks. I curled up into a ball and sobbed all night until I eventually fell asleep. The buzz of my phone woke me up at 11 o’clock the next morning, it was the guy I had met the other day. He had been pretty shocked when he found out I was going to be living in a tent over winter (not something I had really considered) and had asked his friends mum if I could stay in one of her spare rooms. Not knowing what to expect but knowing I was pretty desperate, I went to meet her. She’d lived in Nelson for around 10 years, so she knew the area well. Working in the orchards for most of her life, Pru was a hardy type, with weathered hands and constant outdoor attire but a heart of gold. Welcoming me into her home she gave me one of the spare rooms belonging to her children who had since grown up and moved out and talked to me about Nelson and the hidden spots only locals know. The year previously she had visited Europe, on a month-long trip so we sat in the sunshine drinking local Marlborough Sauvignon blanc discussing cities and areas we’d both been to. She was fascinated by the old pubs in London, and I didn’t quite understand why. To me that was the norm, but as I was taken to the local pub that night I realised that not all pubs had exposed beams, and in fact, none of the buildings were old enough either. As the weekend approached I was invited over to Golden Bay on a camping trip. It was an hour and a half drive from Nelson, but the journey was a long, winding road over the mountain, with dramatic views over the valley. My phone had run out of battery, I was disconnected from technology and in total trust of these two people I’d met merely weeks prior. We drove along the coastline, stopping at Wharariki beach, known for its pure white sand - and the spot in which the famous Windows PC background was taken. Then along to the sacred waters Te Waikoropupu Springs so clear and vibrant blue, you can see the entirety of the water’s bed. Spots I wouldn’t have discovered without a locals knowledge. It was these days that completely opened a whole new world for me. I grew confidence I didn't know existed, and I realised my adventures had only just begun. Did I regret not getting on that plane home? No, not for one moment.