Introduction to myself

by Anastasiia Nazarova (Ukraine)

A leap into the unknown Ukraine

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That summer turned out to be an extraordinary, full of doubts, experiences and hopes with a taste of sunshine and salty air. It’s been almost eight years since then, but I recall everything as yesterday. My journey started banal, with an intense wish to prove to myself that I could venture out of the adventure, get out of my comfort zone. All I could find out about myself was: «modest, homely girl» nothing more, nothing special and incapable of risk. Sounds pathetic, doesn’t it? I won’t be sly; somewhere in the back of my mind, I shared this point of view. But some stubborn, foolish desire took me to show myself in the first place all this isn’t true, and everyone else is mistaken. The method I chose was radical but so interesting. From friends, I heard about student exchange program for a vacation in the US. Perfect opportunity to make myself to do something amazing, at early glance distant and unreal. However, not much time has passed and I am already sitting on the airplane that separates me from my home for a long distance. Hundreds of thoughts are spinning in my mind. Have I made this? What was I thinking? What is waiting for me there? Natural fear about the journey (a mix of slight concern before the unknown and some stubborn confidence that everything will work out as finest as it can be). But there is no escape, you can’t get off the plane, and there is no parachute behind your back. Three months were full of events, feelings and impressions, but I have two memories most important and personal for me than others. The first one is the way to the rented apartment, our current home for a while. I can close my eyes and hear the airport door slamming behind my back. Then this sun-drenched road, with stretched high thin palm trees along and small off-shore homes interlace with green spaces and forest stripes. And the air, it’s so breezy and tart filled with the odors of hot asphalt, pine needles and a salty breeze from the ocean. It was like a movie scene where all the colors are so vivid. This is actually when I realized that my adventure had begun. My second memory is the ocean. That evening we met as old friends who could chat for hours and we talked but in silence. The sandy shore, much broader at low tide, gradually became deserted. The sky is burning with the orange and pink paints of the sundown, making the same shade to the ocean. Waves run one after another, raising sand and small shells, foaming and running away. Time after time, wave after wave. My feet touch the warm water as if we are playing “catch-up” game only unsure who is trying to capture whom. A soft ocean breeze dances in my hair. I feel fascinating and calm, this peaceful mood restores internal balance. I can’t tell for sure how much time I spent on the beach, but when I got out of my thoughts, the sky above my head was sprinkled with bright stars that took my breath away. The sky was so close that you could reach out a hand and grab a few stars to yourself. That was when I realized that I was here and now, in my place, where I needed to be. My first huge adventure ended, but I realized I would never return to my starting point, something changed, I changed and it will be forever. I am thankful to the people I have met along my way, the events that have affected me, myself because the risk I took was worth it. My story is a confession to myself and, I hope, a motivation for someone who hesitates and needs a magical push from fate.