It started with the sky

by Irini Hatzipanagiotou (Germany)

A leap into the unknown Brazil

It started with the sky. Everything was connected by fine lines. It was like watching a big cinema screen up there. I saw stars dancing together and the moon rising like a proud lion entering his kingdom. An hour earlier I found myself sitting with two shamans and my friend Nãke around a campfire. Dogs wandered around and my heart was beating fast. The air was full of excitement. It was the first time that I drunk Ayahuasca, the “vine of the soul”. A sacred plant brew of the Amazon region, which is known for its healing power. Now it was my turn to connect with this medicine somewhere on a hidden beach in Brazil. It was already dark. I listened to the magical sounds of guitars and drums played by the shamans. After drinking my second glass, I lay down. Nãke started singing these beautiful Amazonian songs. Her voice carried me through the next few hours. I believe that’s how angels sing. I was lying by the fire. My right hand was on my belly and my left hand on my heart. Everything what followed now was so strong that only my breath showed me that I was still alive. I've never experienced anything on such a high level. The moon was rising behind the vast, dark ocean. The ocean was the mother and gave birth to the moon. I watched closely. The entire sickle was in motion. The ground was gone and for a while it felt like dying. Heaven existed and everything else disappeared. There was a lot of black and dark blue. I can’t remember the exact transition. But at some point one vision flowed into another. Everything was so alive and intense. There were thousands of colors and patterns. Rainbows. Spirals. Caterpillars. Animals in the clouds. The faces of dragons. Plants. Machine-like colored gears that moved. These were precious pictures that I will never forget. In one of them giant lianas and roots were moving towards me. I thought they came to destroy me. They meandered around me and I felt fear. The roots gently embraced my body, lifted me up and carried me. I felt like a baby in mother’s arms. It was just wonderful. And then there was this big snake. She crawled towards my mouth and I got scared. The snake had turned into a fountain. I felt water in my mouth. What an unexpected gift. Later i saw myself swimming in the sea. I had tentacles like an squid and did somersaults. One, two, three, four. I was afraid that I would run out of air. Naturally I turned into an water animal that could breathe. It was so releasing. I could do many more somersault without fear. Throughout the hours there was this connecting element of good intentions. Everything I thought was evil and dark was turned into love! The lianas, the snake, the ocean. Nobody wanted to hurt me. After four or five hours the pictures became less and i got calmer. I understood that there was nothing to prove, nothing to give or to receive. I was allowed to be. The first drops came and it started to rain. We slowly made our way home. We wandered through the dunes and past a river. I undressed and went for a bath. It was long after midnight and nature slowly dived into morning dew. Everything felt so gentle. It was like cleaning myself from all the losses of the night. My expectations, my ego, my fears. I felt vulnerable and strong at the same time. It was such a pure and honest feeling. I looked at the moon.