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So, there I was: spread eagle, upside down, flying headfirst over a 300-meter gulch in the Andes Mountains. I was attached to the lap of Marcos, a blonde, bronzed, Argentine zip-line instructor and my crotch was very unladylike-ly close to his face. It did occur to me beforehand, when we were sitting spider-style and face to face that maaaybe this wasn’t a good idea. My stomach flipped a little as we hooked and latched the alarmingly small and rusty gadgets responsible for keeping me from plummeting to my death. But it wasn’t until he said “so you just spread your legs and lay back” that I literally choked on my own spit and started to question my decision-making abilities. I also silently thanked God my Dad didn’t just hear that. He would have died, and Argentine-Fabio would have too. As we sat on the zip-line platform gearing up to push off, I gazed down at the dark river below and across the deep, rocky ravine. I was terrified. I’d be flying “look mom no hands” style across the entire thing with nothing my Marco’s arms and Argentine engineering to guide me safely to the other side. What the actual fuck was I thinking? Yes, it’d make a great story, but those rocks would also make pretty convenient headstones. Just as I was about to back out, the dark clouds that had threatened rain all day parted just a bit and a beam of sunlight illuminated the entire ravine below. Everything shimmered. The dark water exploded into a sea of neon blue and green and the red-brown earth only magnified its brilliance. Then, no joke, the sunbeam turned into the most vibrant rainbow I had ever seen. Now, I was speechless. I felt like I’d been thrust into a hyper-color Garden of Eden and God himself was popping in to say ‘Hi.’ Maybe it was this surreal moment, or the fact I was spider-ing ‘another man,’ but I began to feel a warm calm flow through my whole body, and I was suddenly unafraid. “If I’m gonna die, this is as great a place as any,” I thought. “This is why I travel…for this shit right here!” Buoyed by divine intervention and adrenaline, I gave Marcos a wide-eyed ‘si,’ blew a kiss at my husband over his shoulder, and we kicked off into the abyss. As the cool, clean wind blew through my hair, Marcos gave me a nod and I knew it was time. I threw my body back, spread my legs like I’d never been taught manners, and screamed like a real lady.