Leave the ground and climb your personal Everest summit!

by Tanya Harkusha (Ukraine)

I didn't expect to find Slovenia

“Mum, why is that woman crying? She won, didn’t she!?” The woman with a medal on her neck standing on the winner's stand was an impostor in my eyes - unhappy on the happiest day! Being a four-year old girl, I was puzzled looking at one of the winners during Figure Skating Championship on television: she knelt upon the ground, burst into crying and kissed the ice with a deep devotion to the numb cold surface. I didn’t know at that age that the woman was absolutely honest but at that very moment I swore never to pretend, never to be a liar, always to show only true colors of mine. Unfortunately, Life had all chances to make my vow broken. 30 years have passed. It was a usual Saturday - five days before my 34th Birthday. I just finished work and when I least expected, I heard the news: my man got married. Feebleness. Zero setting. Wreckage. I succumbed to the gravity, tumbled down on the floor and burst out crying. On the happiest day of my beloved man I simply couldn’t move any of my limbs and literally died in the quiet solitude of my room. Right on the next day I tried my best to smile in the picture I put in Instagram. I wanted Him to see how strong I was (in case he would check). I know he did, he knows I lied. Vicious circle with no way out. Hum. Buzz. Clash. Jangle. Booming. Drone. Clatter. In January 2020 in a giveaway contest I won the trip to Slovenia. I swear I was the only one among hundreds spectators in the stands of World Cup Biathlon in Pokljuka who knew nothing of biathlon. During four days of the contest I tried to find the reason why I happened to be there while keeping an indifferent eye on spare-built demigods with poker faces in bright outfits. To get victory they needed to be the best both in cross-country skiing and rifle shooting. Circled with the noble and numb Alps I soothed myself that at least I found something more formidable than the load of my problems. Finally, the last day of the Championship came. It was almost the end of the competition as all of a sudden in full public view the Olympian gods turned into ordinary people. Right after crossing the finishing line they knelt the floor trying to regain breath, rubbed their faces with snow, cried from despair. While some needed a couple of seconds to restore the balance, others needed much more time. I was staring breathless and shed some tears witnessing such a sincerity. Overcoming the obstacles, we often fall down yet we desperately tend to conceal our rough sides and weaknesses. Does this vanity fair bring anything but destruction? I obviously see an ordinary person who tosses and turns in despair trying to find a way out: in alcohol, religion or internet. All in tears, he opens Instagram to get some support but in return sees all those smiles – sincere and artificial. Grief seems to be sneered at. Thanks God I’ve never thought of committing suicide but according to the statistics a lot of people have. Those who struggled to find the balance but kissed the dust first closed Instagram, then their eyes and finally leapt into the unknown. Regarding the spread of the Coronavirus, World Cup Biathlon in Nove Mesto na Morave will take place without spectators. It means – ordinary people like me won’t get their lesson from those who face miscellaneous problems daily : athletic injuries, weather conditions, dispraise of their fans, criticism, disqualification. I didn’t expect to meet a teacher under the guise of biathlon. I can’t help sharing that ray of light I got from real heroes. Without a single word uttered, they clearly said: “Never forget that Life itself is higher than the highest mountain Everest, what to say about the Alps.” “Teacher,”, asked the pupil, “what would you tell me if I fall?” “Rise!” “What if I fall again?” “Rise again.” “How often do I have to rise after I fall?” "Rise as long as you are alive, for those who had fallen and didn’t rise are dead.”