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When I first went to South Africa I was 24 years old. I was living in Buenos Aires back then I was doing my MA and studying to get into diplomacy. The idea of South Africa came from a friend I had met in England when I was 17. He had finally started the project of his dreams: a surfing camp. Together with his wife, they offered a 2 weeks retreat on Buffels Bay, in the Western Cape. Although I started traveling by myself from a young age, I had never been to the African continent before. I remember when we were flying over South Africa I could already feel a mystic vibe. The land of the big 5, and the land of man. I was drawn immediately. Magic, traditions, humanities’ heritage. I arrived in Cape Town, and before meeting with my friend and the rest of the group, I spent an entire week by myself discovering the city. I lost my phone on day 2, and it was the first time I was off the grid. Internet access was scarce, the quality was terrible and also, I didn’t give a fuck. I hadn't felt this alive in a long time. In the last couple of years, I felt trapped in a place where I didn’t belong, doing things I didn’t want to do, seeing the lives of others as models of success I should aspire too. Always looking outside. No inner voice. But being off the grid allowed my buried inner child to come out and play. And South Africa is the perfect place for that. You have nature, history, a super-rich cultural background, and so much diversity! I was joyful, the fear went away, and I felt empowered. In this context, I met our yoga teacher. To be honest, I didn’t even register his name the first time we met, and it took me a couple of days to remember it, but in the meantime, some flirting started from his side. Subtle touches, looking for closeness and spending more time with me. I wasn’t sure, until one night, I was vulnerable and he offered me comfort, and in his comfort I found arousal. We had a fling for a week, but it changed my whole world. I stayed for 3 more weeks, and his spirit accompanied me for the rest of the journey. A sudden need for renovation and freedom took over me. Something asleep had awoken. I’ve been hocked up with this story ever since. We met again in 2015, and we shared a glorious month and a half together, and for many years I thought about this romantically. But I came to realize that his role in my life was that of a great teacher. Now I'm able to understand that he was there to show me the way I was supposed to go, the one of being true to myself. He was authentic and courageous and non-judgmental. Not perfect at all, but willing to do the work to grow, without giving up his true self. Without guilt and self-flagellation. He was the first person I met with these qualities. He touched me in the deepest way. He shocked all my structures, but the process was so deep that the walls came down only 7 years later. There was indeed an attraction, but it was mostly spiritual. I wasn’t expecting any of this. It was the most beautiful experience, but it also ignited a great existential crisis and the awakening of a chronic disease that came to show me what I didn’t want to see. Even if it might sound tragic, for me, now that I look back, it was a blessing. This trip was the beginning of my journey to find my self again and to heal.