Lost in Sa Pa

by Phuoc Huynh (Vietnam)

I didn't expect to find Vietnam

Oops! A slippery rock made me fall over. My body was dipped in the brain freeze stream. Quickly standing up, I realized my left my flip-flop was broken. How pathetic I am, an overconfident amateur trekker wearing flip-flops instead of sneakers in his very first alone trip. I had no choice but to keep walking unevenly like a toddler towards somewhere I did not know. 1.00 pm. Tired. My mind was drowned in golden rice seeds spreading breathless beauty of yellow to every "natural stair" stretching from top of gorgeous mountain to the silver stream where I started limping. Majestic Hoang Lien Son mountain range restrained me from escaping out of that beauty by its gigantic pyramid shape. And that beauty helped me realize that I was actually lost. 2.00 pm. Exhausted. I saw a trekking group coming. Thanks God! My life could be saved. I followed that group without hesitation until a foreign girl with ponytail glanced at my miserable appearance. “We have a stalker.” she spoke out loud. “You will see some more.” the Vietnamese leader guy couldn't help giggling with his bizarre laughter. I had no idea why I became a non-English speaker to them. They kept walking away and ignored me. I was left behind in shock. What! I was not welcomed in my own country and even by my own people. 3.00 pm. Terrified. I was in another hill, still with the same gorgeous beauty, which really freaked me out. How I could find the way out of a place where most of its landscape was covered with the same yellow. Suddenly, a sound of dog barking startled me. Under a withered tree, a little girl in H’mong traditional dress stood behind a drooling fierce dog. Dirt was spotted on her white face while her unkempt chestnut hair was playing with the wind. “Half-breed?” an indiscriminate guess appeared in my mind. But the strangest thing was the wide opened but empty eyes located on her right tilted head. She stared at me. Holding up some handmade souvenirs stuff for my attention, she tried her best to pronounce three words difficultly in her bizarre accent. “Chú, mua chú” (“Buy it, sir”) she spoke out loud. I just shook my head to refuse that “cute” commercial transaction with her. And she shook her head as she always did unconsciously. Immediately, she walked away with her dog, maybe looking for another successful deal. In that moment, I knew how to find the way out. 3.30 pm. Nervous. Tailing her without revealing my existence behind her was the most stressful challenge I ever experienced in my life. Sneaky walking with my sweaty face and heavy legs made me become a creepy stalker. In contrast, she looked like a little angel wandering in this yellow paradise. 5.00 pm. Hopeful. I recognized something familiar. Those was the ugly hotel building arrogating the green space which used to be there, the grey waste bin always full of trash and the main road. Yes, the main road. Without hesitation, I ran as fast as I could towards the road. The dog became alerted to my existence and started barking. “Chú, mua chú.” she became over-excited. A fabric butterfly dropped from her tiny hand to the ground. Picking up that cute thing for her, I just shook my head. So did she, as always. Sunlight stopped hurting my skin but she kept staring at me. Leaving her and that loyal dog behind, I limped towards the homestay. Tiredness made my pity for her fade in sunset. 7.30 pm. Recovered I told the homestay owner my story and did not forget to mention that girl. “Half-breed? You think her father is a random white guy lost in that village, right?” he smiled. I nodded slightly. “Consanguineous marriage! She could be a victim by that depraved custom of the H’mong ethic group. That could be the reason for her unique look but with mental problems.” he said sympathetically. It was such a logical explanation that my mind hurt so much. The room became weirdly quiet. It's foggy outside. The night was empty like her wide opened black eyes haunting me until now.