It was a typical night of my restless insomnia and scrolling through the 'gram (Instagram for all of my readers over the age of 40+ lol), I came across an all inclusive trip to Mexico for a mere $399 during the month of December 2019. Timing couldn't have been better for me. As someone who suffers from mental health challenges including depression and PTSD; these events were only further exacerbated by the holiday season because in November 2015, I lost my first and only daughter Princess Grace. Due to complications no doctor could explain even to this day, my water broke early, and the dream I had long wished for to be a mother and a wife instantly vanished. So it was that 5 years later, nearly every holiday season, I found myself, single, sad, and depressed. This year, after much financial hardship I decided to change my atmosphere and work remotely from my job as a community organizer with the internationally acclaimed organization FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture. After taking a brief holiday at the resort and armed with my conversational Spanish, I was ready to take Mexico by storm. As an all around artivisit (artist and activist with specialties in dance, writing, playwrighting, acting), I always take the time to soak up the true culture of any place I travel, outside of the comfy cozy opulence of a resort. So it was that I ventured to a working class neighborhood in Puerto Vallarata, to stay with my choosen family in their humble studio apartment with a small refrigator, no where to cook inside of the house, a couch, a bed, and a shower that had a toliet inside of it. Though I was intially shocked, I quickly adjusted. After all, I have come from humble beginnings myself. I was born and raised in Baltimore and though my family owned a home, we were what you would call “house poor.” My mother spent most of her life as a single mother. She worked shift after shift to provide a good life for myself and my two siblings. But those times when you are working hard and your husband is locked up for drugs that he once sold that he now uses, you become the sole provider and something won’t get paid. In our case, sometimes it was a light bill. Sometimes it was the heat. Sometimes it was food as she was ever to proud to go on public assistance. Though I had only been abroad one other time to work on missions in Ghana with my mother who is now a pastor, I soon learned that my trip to Mexico would be transformative in more ways than one. Here amongst the oldest temples in Mexico City situated firmly next to the icon of colonization in one of the oldest churches to the bustling streets of Puerto Vallarata, I found more than tacos and tequila. Amongst drug cartels, and a president Andres Mauel Lopez Obrador fought to against Trump with tariffs to keep central Americans from entering the country as Obrado was just elected Dec 1, I was poised to have a personal shift that mimicked the political transitions of the country I choose to seek healing. What awaited me in Puerto Vallarta, the queer capital of Mexico, was more than I expected and certainly unknown. While staying with a good friend and his husband, I was invited to a Gay Male Chorus event for the season. I had always been open and a strong ally to the LGBTQIA+ community, but had never shared true intimacy with a woman. And here, amongst what I can now say are my true brothers and sisters, Lady Zen- a world renowned singer- found me. She explained she had envisioned a tall, dark, chocolate woman and we had a world-wind first date filled with tacos, drinks, weed, secret speakeasy, and a passionate night of love making. Though the interaction was brief and dramatic (she not expressing she was married until after our brief tryst), it was Puerto Vallarta that allowed me to fully stand in my queer, bisexual, and asexual identity. Previously, I had struggled with my place in this community since I was and still am primarily attracted to men and grateful to be in an amazing relationship with my current transgender male fiance’ Carroll Williams- but this experience solidified that not only I am an ally, I AM the LGBTQIA+ community. I am a Black, strong, queer, asexual, femme woman, and no one can take that from me. I have Puerto Vallarta, my chosen family, and even Lady Zen to thank for helping me feel comfortable in a community that was destined for me.