My hearts home

by Mahdiyyah Suleman (South Africa)

I didn't expect to find Saudi Arabia

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The sweltering heat beat down on our heads as we trekked across the marble floor. The glare of the white tiles forced me to shade my eyes and I lowered my head. I was about to make the sacred pilgrimage, but hours of driving across the Arabian desert had not left me in the best of moods. I was hungry, sore and irritable. We walked as a group, the little ones ahead of us and the elderly lagging behind. I was not sure what to expect as we entered the marble edifice. The sudden wave of the air conditioning soothed my raw nerves and I let out a sigh of relief. We walked slowly, stopping only to pray upon entering the masjid, and then moving forward once more. Someone gently pressed down on the back of my head and I lowered my gaze. A sudden hush fell over my companions and I knew we had arrived. I raised my eyes and was struck in complete awe by the emotions this grand structure could arouse in me. It was a simple square, covered in a black cloth. The gold thread glistened under the afternoon sun and a sudden onslaught of emotion nearly knocked me over. I didn't expect to find my hearts home, within the confines of a building. I had always thought of myself as a free spirit, but this simple piece of architecture had awoken within me a love and a humility I had not known l could possess. My heart beat fast within my chest and the rush of blood to my face signalled the storm that was about to come. Tears rolled down my face as I gazed at the Ka'bah, the house of God. A building that had witnessed countless Prophets and close friends of God. Here I stood, in its shadow, only to find that it was no mere building of old that could instil this depth of emotion within me, but the closeness to my Maker. I felt at home, as if I had been waiting for this moment all my life. I felt as if years and years of troubles and trials had slid away when I had raised my head. My heart had poured out it's troubles to God and he had replaced it with contentment. It was then that I realised this was no baseless ritual, but a pilgrimage of the soul. For it was not in one city that God was found, but that he was found within his creation, and it was us who carried him wherever we went. A building remained a building, but the heart of a believer was alive with the remnants of faith. Someone cleared their throat to draw our attention and I knew that we were about to begin. I thought of nothing else in that moment but my connection to the Creator of all that exists. "Let my prayer, my sacrifice, my life, and my death be for you, oh God." I said it underneath my breathe but I swear it was heard in the heavens.