My way into the unknown

by Youssef Abdelrady abdellah (Egypt)

A leap into the unknown Syria

My story started about a month ago..... I packed my bag and said goodbye to my mother and my little brothers and i went my way . My eyes were filled with tears as I looked around me to every corner of our house and our neighborhood is almost empty of its inhabitants, some of them demolished his house so he had to leave him and some of them were martyred and some of them escaped and some of them emigrated . Toys and their laughter on this street. Here a young child was crying and another child screamed and put the ball into the goal. At the end of the street, the vegetable vendor stood calling out his voice, 'The fingers of the bobo, cucumber'. The sound of a shell a little further away from our neighborhood brought me back to reality, and there was no one left in our street, which was once full of life, nothing but destruction and scary stillness. This stillness that precedes the storm but not like other storms it is a storm of death in which barrels and treachery rockets fall instead of rain. The water-thirsty land is saturated with the blood of martyrs. Instead of life coming out after the storm, the smell of death, destruction and annihilation is emitted.I began to take my first steps towards an unknown future and fear and anxiety squeeze my guts. I left everything behind because of this bloody war declared by our president, who instead of protecting us with his army decided to kill us all, and it was our only fault that we demanded freedom, justice and dignity. He declared it a war against us, so i ate everything in its path and we had nothing left but memories. The reason for my decision to leave was to seek a future and a new life that would guarantee me and my family a halal living and a safe life that preserves our dignity. Like many people in my neighborhood, my city and my countrymen, I left for that unknown. I started crossing the barriers one by one and my heart almost stopped at every barrier I passed. What if I was kidnapped or arrested at one of these checkpoints, as happened to many of my young men, men, women, and even the elders, they didn't get caught up in the abuse and humiliation. After a hard day of travel, I arrived in Idlib. From there, I found someone who agreed to deliver me to Turkey for a sum of money. There in Turkey will be my first stop towards a new future and a better life at least that's what I was dreaming about. I did not leave my mother and brothers to want me to travel, but because of the difficult circumstances of our lives that we have been living since my father disappeared from one of the barriers of the system. He was arrested for participating in demonstrations demanding freedom and dignity. It's been almost two years since he was arrested and until this moment we haven't heard from him. We do not know where he is and we do not even know whether he is still alive. Since then, my mother has been trying everything she can to make a living for us, but the war has gone on and life has become so miserable and difficult that we can only eat one meal a day. We wear several layers of clothing inside the house so that our bodies are warmed up and my mother can no longer afford heating. In addition to all this, the bombing does not stop and the flight does not leave the skies of our city. All that made my mother and I decide that I should travel in search of a new country to which we are sheltering in search of safety and a better life. I have accepted to take this adventure for them in order to get them out of the lion's barrels. Oh, my Lord, what will happen to them if no one comes to save me? How, after all, I've remained strong and have hope and willing to do anything to come me.