Please, Touch My Hair

by Nadijah Campbell (United States of America)

Making a local connection India

Huffing and puffing after a 600 step hike to a temple, this lady approached me pointing and saying something in some language that I did not know. The only reason I knew she was asking me about my hair is because she would point to it, say something, then pause. She repeated these actions with a smile until I heard the word real. “No, it’s not.” She leaned in to touch my hair. A part of me was a little mad like, you’re not even gonna ask? The other part of me was thinking this is probably the only time she can get a good understanding of my kind of hair. Then she said something else and made some gestures, mimicking the twisting process. “Yes. I twist it with my real hair.” I proceeded to mimic the process as well. Then I said, “My real hair is like this,” and I made a gesture to show a fro. She stared in awe and touched my hair again without asking, saying something in that language of hers and then asked for a picture. “Sure!” I witnessed the same thing when I was in Cape Town for a semester – except the people in Cape Town weren’t interested in my kind of hair. I used to volunteer twice a week with kids to help them with reading. When I first started they would run to all of the white volunteers and play with them. I’m not gonna lie, my feelings were mad hurt. I was like how are they gonna turn their backs on me when I’m one of them. Then, I realized it was precisely for that reason. I was just like them and that was boring. These kids, who were running around with perms so that they could have hair like the White people, who they had never seen before, were finally able to see naturally straight hair up close. When people are in an environment where they are unable to experience these differences they will naturally be curious. Some may think you look weird af but a little education can change this. Let me put it to you this way. If you go to a land where Black people were walking around with, loose curly blonde hair and blue eyes you would want to touch it to see if it’s real too (I think this exists). You would have a lot of questions and you would be staring because it’s foreign to you. If they all got mad and wouldn’t tell you anything you’d get a bad impression of these kind of people and you’d go back saying “I saw these crazy looking people and they were all weird as hell. They’re not nice and they probably perform witch craft or something. I don’t know what they do really because they wouldn’t tell me anything. I wouldn’t trust them if I were you.” Buuuuuut if they did let you touch and they explained a little bit of their genealogy to you you’d go back saying, “I saw these cool people the other day and they were so nice. I was asking them all these questions because I had never seen anything like that before and they were helping me to understand. You have to go there and talk to them!” So, the next time someone asks can they touch your hair say yes. It’s going to be perfectly fine (unless your hair is dry and dirty). When they asks questions, guess what. It’s also okay to answer them without getting unreasonable angry about it. I know, I know. It’s going to be a little nerve wrecking but it’s a great way to end the cultural divide. This goes for all cultural interactions. You may be their first impression – of your race, your country, your whatever – and you don’t want to create or support negative stereotypes. What do ya’ll think about letting people touch your hair? Does it automatically make you mad when someone asks or is it only when people are reaching without permission?