Postcard that can't be delivered

by Iva Brizova (Czech Republic)

I didn't expect to find Greece

The consignee was not stated. However, reading through lines revealed, how thoughtfully was the sender choosing words, that would encourage and showed her, how loved she was. Reading it, reminds me of those postcards, that we used to send from camps with excitement, not because we had to. Love and care, that we took for granted, but couldn't stop crying for, once we lost it. Before her husband unexpectedly died, he had asked me if I could take care of her. The easier it is to promise, the harder it is to keep our words. Now it is too late to regret putting off days when we talked and laughed together. Why do we rather chase careers and bursting calendars? All of a sudden she was too weak to talk. Only her eyes were saying the story. Although I knew that I wouldn't come over the next weeks, I didn't mention anything. I was just helplessly holding her hand and felt like the little girl again. I lied down next to her and joined her in the unspoken conversation. ''You don't need to worry grandma. I will pass the exams and pursue my dreams.'’ I had a date later that afternoon and a wanted to catch a plane at midnight. When I was leaving I got a glimpse of her serene expression. I was hoping to hold her hand again, but deep inside I wished for her to find the peace and leave the suffering. The sea view from queen bed made it a perfect destination for vacation. I couldn't sleep and rather put on running shoes. Footprints in the sand immediately disappeared as well as my thought of running up the hill to the monastery. The powerful energy, such peaceful sunrise with all those warm colors across the sky made me breathless. The unique moment felt like I was sharing my thoughts with someone. Except for the birds whispering, I was alone. Perhaps I was too tired that I fell asleep later that day. This time she looked like I remembered her. All the worries were carried away, when she was caressing my cheeks. ''Iva it's lunchtime, let’s grab gyros with tzatziki.'' When I rubbed my eyes from such a vivid dream, I couldn't believe that I was sleeping until the afternoon. ''No, you were not'' my mum said.'' Her watches showed 12:05. Making road trips every summer together I realized, that we can learn from each other. It is useless to argue over habits. Instead of suggesting to leave the wristwatch home, I mumbled that the battery must had been flat. My mum never gives up and so she tried to set them for the actual time. They started to tick again. The hand of the clock turned forward many times when we caught sight of sunset from the monastery up the hills. We lit the candle as she taught us. The quietness was interrupted. The message was delivered. ''I am sorry Iva. I will be glad to hear, how she was like’' appeared on the phone. Before we confirmed the purchase of a flight ticket back home, we had given up on such an idea. We wanted to be closer to her, but deep inside I knew, that she was there with us. Landing back in Prague meant to deal with difficult moments that were ahead of us. I exchanged the traveler outfit for the lawyer one. The tan matched perfectly with a white dress. Only watches were missing. How confused I was staring at that classy gold wristwatch that showed 12:05. The exam took place in an hour. I realized that this time it was me, who was wrong. Not only with my attitude to generation's differences but also with beliefs, that I doubted. If the postcard could be delivered, I couldn't wait to find the mailbox. The melody of Fibich Poem resounded in the funeral hall. The forte figure evoked the strongest feeling in our lives. She gave us the boundless love, the persuasion, that we can accomplish any goals if I will be heading towards them. Who lives in our heart, lives forever.