Reconciling with my roots - Uttar Pradesh, India

by Gaura Singh (India)

I didn't expect to find India

I grew up amidst beautiful stories told by my Grandma, Mummy and Papa about their motherland, climbing trees and open fields, about 'gilli danda'(a street sport) and pani puri. Growing older, the image was tarnished by the media and people around me - Uttar Pradesh, as I knew it seemed like a dream. Exploitation, pollution, murders, rapes, corruption - that was all anyone would say about the state which I used to proudly say I belong to. Sadly, despite yearly visits to my Mummy and Papa's respective homes near Varanasi, I mentally severed my ties with my very own roots, out of embarassment and shame. In the summer of 2019, my father declared we would travel to Uttar Pradesh via our own car, he wanted us to see what it was all about. It was going to be a family road trip - starting out we bickered almost all the way, I was unprepared for the irritation that comes with being enclosed in a compact space with four people who I am so used to picking fights with. But nonetheless, we had our bouts of silences, A.R. Rehman's melodies and sleep. For rest we took a one night stop in Jodhpur, Rajasthan and next morning we started for Agra. By early evening, we had entered Uttar Pradesh. To the west of Agra, lies another small city called Fatehpur Sikri which houses the biggest gateway in the world 'Buland Darwaza'. I hadn't expected to see the monument so well-maintained and clean, my conscience was littered with all the bad things I had heard growing up. It was grand and intricate, beyond my imagination. Red sandstone is glorious juxtaposed with white marble. Our next stop late at night was Agra, awaiting us next morning was one of the seven wonders of the world - the Taj Mahal. The lawns were crisp, without a single stray thing lying around. Acres of open land and India's breathtaking culturally diverse people, almost as if they were sprinkled around. There were travellers from countries and continents afar in bounty, they looked extremely happy, almost revering the beauty of the state that I'd turned my back on. The Taj Mahal, itself was like a swan in the lake - surreal, glistening, graceful. To know that the hands that made these details on stones had been cut for doing just the same, for the Shehenshah didn't want them replicated elsewhere in the world gave me a sense of sadness and loss attached with the admiration. We immediately left for Varanasi thereafter and made a short stop at Allahabad, before we headed off to the abode of spirituality - Banaras. To me it had always been the home to the best chaats (street food). The Dashashwamedh ghat was so crowded it was hard to breathe, there were Naga Babas (naked saints), toy vendors and the famous Ganga Aarti. The fire danced on the invisible bridge between water and land, the chaotic chanting and claps echoed aloud, some people cried, others laughed - it was very overwhelming. After we left, I had the most delicious, mouth-watering - aloo chaat and falooda at a street corner shop. After visits to both my maternal and paternal grandparents homes for a few days respectively, full of family get togethers, being pampered and home-cooked food, we made our way back, Lucknow was to be the next stop. Lucknow - the capital of Uttar Pradesh, was everything I didn't expect, it wasn't any different from every metropolitan, there were huge buildings, both architecturally rich historically but housing brand stores at the same time. 'Bara Imambara' was a masterful architectural maze, I had to keep the flashlight of my phone on to see right in front of me. From the terrace I saw the sun set, the day had ended and so had the trip. In all the travelling, I had not only reconnected with my roots, I had learnt to love them and be proud of where I come from, a land of heritage and history, of love in chaos. I thanked Papa for his idea, he had accomplished exactly what he had set out to do, I discovered an unbreakable bond with my family too.